Monday, January 21, 2008
Aspiring to Make a Difference--and Failing due to Laziness
A couple posts ago I said that the person I know (well) who gets 200,000 hits a DAY on his blog, was doing something more important with his time than I am--even though I enjoy many wonderful pleasures from my life. Does that make him superior to me? I maintain that it does, though it seems others disagree.
He uses his time wisely. He works constantly, and enjoys most of what he does, even though the writing can be challenging. I enjoy what I do too--family-centered stuff, and house-centered stuff and a much smaller amount of writing.
Is it enough to enjoy your life, or is it BETTER to be actively working to influence others? I do influence others--just today I was talking to a Jewish friend and, I hope, was able to influence her to take on more mitzvot. Very nice. But the 200,000 hit man has probably not only influenced thousands to advance their Jewish commitment, but also influenced many, many thousands of others to view Judaism more positively, even though they, themselves are NOT Jewish.
And for that, he is a better person than I am. He, I believe, will earn BIG credits with God. For my nice little impact, I'll earn perhaps a few piddly credits with God. Something, surely, but no comparison.
Now, you may say, as Moshe did in my comments, that what I do enables Mr. 200,000 to make his big impact. Yes, that's true, and I'm hoping that my backdrop-sustenance will gain me a hold onto Mr. 200,000's coattails when it comes to being judged ultimately. But when I load the dishwasher and wash laundry and cook a Shabbos meal and talk on the phone to people, maintaining our social network, I am doing mundane tasks--and tasks that Mr. 200,000 appreciates but doesn't really NEED to make his huge impact. If we bought food from a caterer for Shabbat, we'd have a nice meal, I'd get five hours, and Mr. 200,000 would enjoy it. If we used paper plates, we wouldn't be ecologically "green," but Mr. 200,000 would be churning out his profound wisdom just the same.
I feel guilty. I do fun things (like edit my huge number of photos, and shop for three hours on the Internet for a camera for my daughter) while Mr. 200,000 is spewing insight out into the blog-o-webworld. How can you argue with the fact that what he is doing is superior? And that his choice to spend his time on earth making a BIG difference is superior to writing this little un-read, self-indulgent blog that I enjoy?