Scoring on Procrastination

Yes, that's Albert Einstein, sitting at his cluttered desk, in a 1955 Life Magazine photo. He got a lot accomplished.

Here in Seattle, it's gorgeous out; the sun is shining--but I need to be working. I have a deadline. Can't sit outside now.

So, I just took an online survey about my procrastination. You, too can take it here. It only cost me about 18 minutes. Now I get to write to you about it.

It's redundant; it asks the same five or six questions in oodles of ways. Are you a risk-taker? Do you ponder your choices? Is your work boring? Is short-term gratification irresistible? Interestingly, I noticed my answers varying depending on the phrasing of those same questions.

One of the questions is, oddly, "do you procrastinate?" Well, here I am, surrounded by reference material, half-finished chapters cluttering the bottom of my computer monitor, reduced. Yes, here I am, writing about taking a procrastination survey. Umm, do you think I chose "very characteristic of me," "characteristic," "neutral," or not characteristic?

Truth is, I only procrastinate on the one big project on which I'm afraid to fail. Probably reflects my underlying fear that I'm really not as good as I'm supposed to be...that old "I may seem to be competent and successful, but I'm really a fraud" syndrome. Well, intellectually, I know that's not true, but emotions trump logic every time. So I take quizzes and write blog posts and run to classes and volunteer on projects.

My score on the survey was 66 out of 100, "above average procrastinator." Nice to be above average in something.

When you get your score, the helpful folks at the University of Calgary Haskane School of Business offer "tips" to help you overcome your above-averageness. Like goal-setting (been there, done that), routines (got plenty) and stimulus control. That's the bugaboo. I can always find something that needs doing first. Since I have a home office, you can imagine how neat and clean my house is. I collected the dust bunnies right after my deadline became pressing. The laundry is done; the darning too. You know you're procrastinating on something when all the buttons are sewn on your sweaters.

OK, now I must actually work. I've got everything I need all around me: I should be inspired by Einstein, surrounded by the accoutrements of genius. Truth is, once I get into it, I find my topic and research fascinating; it's the writing I fear. But when I start, I can usually keep going for awhile. Till I look up and see what time it is, get that cup of coffee and, hey, is that the sun still shining out there?

Deadline? When?

The thought-spur, if not the action-impetus, was an article in the New York Times Personal Business section yesterday. I was reading it lying in bed debating how long I could tarry before casting off my down comforter, and heading toward my closet to dress for the 2.7-mile trek to synagogue services.

The piece: "Read this Today, or, If you Prefer, Tomorrow," was about procrastination.

It started off well enough, suggesting that not only is procrastination universal, but it can be beneficial. An Ottawa professor thought a little staring out a window or taking a walk could be "just what we need."

But then the truth came out: Procrastinators embrace "irrational, self-defeating delay." The professor, Timothy Pychyl, must be over my shoulder: "How often have we said, "We'll check email, it'll only take a minute,' and three hours later we're still on it?"

DePaul University Prof. Joseph R. Ferrari classified us procrastinators into three categories: arousal, avoidance and decisional: "The arousal types are thrill seekers who say they need the adrenaline rush that comes from waiting until the last minute." Check. But I always got those term papers in, even though I was typing as the sun rose and stapling them while running into class.

"Avoidance procrastinators put off hard or boring tasks to avoid being seen as failures." Check. I am writing this post instead of my book. Double-check.

"And decisional procrastinators are chronically indecisive in every part of their lives." Not usually. That's my daughter, though--ignore something and the decisions get narrowed for you.

What to do? Deadlines certainly are a help for me. I'm afraid to displease as well as to fail. The article suggests also to break tasks into manageable parts; to formulate them concretely rather than abstractly; to eliminate distractions ("like moving an email icon to make it less visible..." fat chance I can't find it!). There are those of us who use all the tricks and then spend time thinking up more.

But if these don't work, watch out. Procrastination could portend something lugubrious and deep: "It could be a symptom that you're leading an inauthentic life."

Really, I know those avitars in my virtual world aren't real. And oops, the editors waiting for my pages must be at lunch right now. Hmm, let me just check my Facebook...

Ten Tips for Overcoming Procrastination

See these pictures of ice cream and chocolate? They look pretty good, don't they? Well, if you keep reading, I'm going to tell you to eat one of them. Just not quite yet.

I am going to give you some very useful information, TEN TIPS to help you get your work done. But first...a few words about procrastination. It is the reaction to feeling claustrophobic. When you feel hemmed in by obligation and stonewalled by an assignment that's difficult, you--I mean I--avoid it. By doing things that seem legitimate, like laundry, or phone calls to make appointments, like taking the car in for its servicing, or getting a birthday gift you have to give on Sunday.

When I'm out in my car, away from my computer and the book I'm completing, I feel liberated from the pressure. When I'm on the phone, or at the gym, the assignment goes away. When I'm in the laundry room...I feel guilty. I should have finished writing at least another ten pages before I did the laundry. I didn't even have a full load of whites.

So, as a form of personal therapy, and to benefit anyone who is reading this blog while procrastinating, here are my ten invaluable "tips" for overcoming procrastination. (This is the pot calling the kettle black, to misuse a cliche. These are things I do not do, even as I tell myself to do them.)

1. Do not check your email until you achieve some attainable milestone. E.g. no checking email till you write five more pages.

2. Do not check your blog or write on your blog or check to see if you got any more comments on your last blog. Or even re-read your old blogs, just because you can. Until you write five more pages.

3. Use the same dishes, rinsed out. Do not wash dishes except at a prescribed time at night, after you've written your 10 pages for the day. Or thirty pages, whatever your goal.

4. Turn off the phone and check for messages after those nasty 10 pages are written.

5. Go to the gym on your regular schedule. Do not skip other basic daily commitments, like morning prayers. If you do either, you will feel guilty and you'll pile that on top of your already profound guilt about those incredibly mean and rotten ten pages.

6. Tell everyone you know about your deadline, so each person will be solicitous and not bother you or expect you to do your usual things. And your friends will keep asking, "how's your project coming?" and thereby be another nudge to get it done, since you don't want to have to answer them, "I procrastinated this week."

7. If you must cook for Sabbath entertaining or an event, do not get creative. Make your most trusted and simple recipes. Better yet, make it known that you have no time to cook, and you hope you'll be invited out. When invited out, do not offer to bring something, other than, oh, beer. Everybody loves specialty craft beers. Or chocolate. Some fancy chocolate.

8. Speaking of chocolate, keep some of your favorite at hand as you work. And nuts, crunchy nuts. Better yet, make that chocolate chips and toasted almonds, together. These are stress-reducing foods. You must have them there ON YOUR DESK so you have no excuse to get up and go to the refrigerator. Have a chocolate chip.
Corollary to number 8: Do not go to the freezer and get ice cream. Ice cream is your enemy. It is the number one comfort food--and the number one GUILT food. Like you need MORE guilt, right? Stick with the stress-reducers. Chocolate chips; take it from me.

9. Once you get into your work, don't stop. If you're on a roll, stay up till 3:30 am if you can--just keep going. You do not need sleep if you're on a roll working. When you finish the chapter, you'll sleep. Much better.

10. Live with mess. Consider your dust bunnies furry friends cheering you on. Your inside-out dirty clothes piled near your closet are an artistic new textile sculpture. If a bit smelly. If you are rich enough to have a cleaning lady, tell her to leave your workspace a mess. Your mess is proof you're working.

Well, those are a few anti-procrastination tips that came to mind as I am procrastinating. I think procrastination is an excellent motivator. Now, back to work!

Getting a Charge out of Batteries

Batteries, batteries...I've just discovered a brand-new form of procrastination...buying batteries online. A certain daughter was holding her digital camera, well, it was hanging by its leash from her wrist, and when she raised it to take a photo of another of her socially adroit friends, the camera didn't work...and, perplexed, she noted that the battery was missing! Searching the area was futile...and so she appealed to her mother to replace the battery, NOW, since, while she refuses to be in any photos of MINE, even of the most slyly candid type (I have two-hundred fifty "Show Me the Hand" photos to prove it), she cannot go a DAY without a dozen photos of herself taken in the time-honored "extend-the-arm, press-the-button" portraiture style.
And so I enter the wonderful procrastination world of, as Google Search knows too well, "buy Cannon Camera batteries". This after walking into a Kit's camera and finding out that their off-brand Quanteray model was...FIFTY DOLLARS. For the battery, not the camera. Not an Eveready; no, the only one who "takes a lickin'" here is the purchaser.
So, there's Duracell.com, that offers their name-brand battery for $36. with an online 10% off coupon, no tax, and no shipping. But then...I find Batteries.com. THEY have their own house-brand for...do I DARE? TWELVE DOLLARS, THIRTY-FIVE CENTS. The Google coupon for ushering me there says an additional 15% off PLUS free shipping! Do I DARE?
I discuss the ponderous matter with my husband, who, as you may know, has absolutely NOTHING else to do. "It's a BATTERY, for G'd's sake!" he says, exasperated. "It's nothing important! Either the thing works or it doesn't!" OK, there goes Duracell. Hello, Batteries.com. Oh look, they also have watch batteries! Wouldn't it be fun for once to REPLACE my watch battery instead of just buying a new watch (for the same price as a store battery?) I've got a drawer-full of cute little watches with names like "Mudd" (what my name is for choosing it) and "Sweet 16" which, in minutes, is about how long their batteries lasted. But how do I know which ones to buy? And how to change it? Aha. A neat little "tutorial" on how to change a watch battery. This has been quite a bonus for my procrastination.
I type in my credit card number, letting the screen say 'standard shipping, $3.95," wise that on the next page will be the place for my Google coupon. Next page: "Click to confirm." NOOOO! Where do I write in my coupon, and get my 15% and free shipping??? So I write them a "help" email to ask, and meanwhile, another day goes by wherein my daughter is self-portraitless.
And I have successfully wiled away the evening in Internet bliss. At least it charged MY batteries.

Sunday night: Week-end and week begins

It's Sunday night, the time when I tend to look back and ahead...back at Shabbat, and how quickly it went by, with two laboriously-prepared meals and our dear friends at our table...and then, with the Northwest light departing as quickly as it can, the day is over, with dishes still being washed and laments that there was not even any time for a quick nap.
Sunday night, when the one day of the week not programmed has passed...has been wasted somewhat by late sleep, and the remainder used for an outing with my one child still reachable, my 14-year-old son, who makes strange noises on the phone with his male friends, and always lifts his shirt to peer at his "six pack" (not from working out but from sheer skinniness) when passing by a mirror. Even he is too old for the child-centered fun that forms the best memories of our family Sundays, and so we snatched another friend and her three little ones and headed for lunch at Noah's Bagels and then to the Museum of History and Industry with its re-created boardwalk streets, enlarged old photos and plenty of buttons to push, tactile examples to feel, and voices from the past to hear. It was wonderful, and the little ones were adorable, and once again I am reminded that they are not MINE and the smiles and joys belong to me only fleetingly and to their mother completely.
The weather is cold; the sky gray; I wore gray today to match.
The passing of time is quite a punishment. Last night I went to the box where I had stashed all the photos, slides and mementos shipped to me when my siblings cleared out my parents' house after my dad passed away. My mother preceded him in death and he was so devastated he did not change the house at all. Her clothes remained on their hangers in the closet, and in her drawers in the dresser. Her glasses remained on her side of the bed. Everything stayed as if he expected her back momentarily. So I was putting back something in the box, and on top saw something in his handwriting. I removed a yellowed multi-page card he had fashioned--a Valentine--in which he had written all the years they were together, and pasted in photos from their past. He put in funny captions and words of love, and after writing out each year from 1939-2000, concluded "I will love you forever."
Cheap trick. I cried like...well, THEIR baby.
Musn't waste time. But on the other hand, I want to keep it from going on...which is why I bug people completely by taking masses of photos. I don't want to lose the moment, and by having photos, especially the digital ones that entertain me as a slideshow on my screen saver, I can savor that time again.
So it's Sunday night. Soon I'll go with my husband to take our daughter back to her sorority for another week apart from us. And I must get productive; I must not procrastinate by blogging, or by doing the REALLY tempting thing--downloading the photos from today--but it's Sunday; can't we just hold onto these moments when our family is almost complete--before the press of a new week begins?

Blogging as Procrastination

This is my very first blog posting--and, as a Jewish woman who feels like a Jewish child--or at least a girl--I'm almost giddy with the thought that someone other than the recipients of my copious emails might be read my musings. My husband, who is a rather famous person with blogs that millions of people read, posts ponderous articles every night, and gets paid for his punditry. But me....well, I am on deadline for a book, and instead of writing am persisting in the time honored past-time of...PROCRASTINATION.
Has anyone out there ever procrastinated by going on the internet? To look up things that fascinate or lure you (I don't mean lurid lures, either--I happen to enjoy finding flatware on Crate and Barrel and other such mundane pursuits--or cameras that I am hesitant to commit to but really should just go ahead and buy...) Well, instead of looking up items, leaping from site to site, comparison to comparison, I am now procrastinating by posting my very first blog.
I am feeling anxious about spending time doing this but continue to write. I have a deadline for my book of only a few months, and I am afraid of being judged, and therefore hesitate to even write it. I have written five books previously, one of which actually went to number ONE on the Los Angeles Times best seller list, really. Nonfiction. And yet, now, I want to do anything BUT write my book. So I start this blog, and I will check if anyone has read it, as a means to...shall I euphemize? "take a break" from my "work." I do work; I do write. But avoidance is nearly as consuming. Phone calls that must be made. Errands that cannot wait. Must check email. Must clean the kitchen, do the laundry...oh, I've only got 15 minutes till I have to pick up my son, so I can't possibly start in with something NOW.
Procrastination. Isn't that another word for "BLOG"???