tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12190395924517415062024-03-13T01:30:43.195-07:00Searching for Bright Light"The world is so full of a number of things, I'm sure we should all be as happy as kings." --Robert Louis Stevenson.Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.comBlogger548125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-63124127159541919512020-07-02T15:45:00.001-07:002021-01-11T18:26:40.358-08:00I'm a Kid! How can I be a Grand-parent?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitRiADIFjntIKlAkO6zM4wlTcaA0yfuTuqQNUojbs46PGoSYXko_pio2iO0DgsT-bvZjDpt0j04gVGJQadJLyl4djkvwjjMBhaVsQQshKDqir65S8ximooGVEr3IefHQfuGsgzpdTfBibn/s1600/IMG_0026+Micah+hands+folded+in+contemplation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitRiADIFjntIKlAkO6zM4wlTcaA0yfuTuqQNUojbs46PGoSYXko_pio2iO0DgsT-bvZjDpt0j04gVGJQadJLyl4djkvwjjMBhaVsQQshKDqir65S8ximooGVEr3IefHQfuGsgzpdTfBibn/s320/IMG_0026+Micah+hands+folded+in+contemplation.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
I haven't been blogging in this space for quite awhile, but with the "extra" hours of this coronavirus flat circle of time, I returned.<br />
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Since last posting, I have published another book, continued with my biblical studies, and kept in pretty good physical shape. Despite these consistencies, and feeling internally just as I always have, something happened to me that re-defines my position in life.<br />
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It started when my kids were teenagers. My son, the third of my children, for instance, at age 17 started dating a very beautiful redhead. Post high-school, he spent a year abroad, dreaming of her and trying to find internet connections so they could communicate.<br />
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Five years after he met her, my son married this lovely, smart, loyal woman, who continued in her own education to become an oncology nurse. They had a breathtakingly lovely wedding and, despite my son's youth, soon found themselves expecting a baby.<br />
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But wait! <i>I'm</i> supposed to be the Mommy! <i>You're</i> supposed to be the <i>baby</i>!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEpr91VRmkWy-gM9PEvQJnMhtddWOBFTs414uwuqxj_maUrB_5FhXAL_NyYXvOFI4eyChyXmSWH8WqZdpb350Woj92Jzskylgwjrx4iHxG60z4WJfm01beNO-6ls9G4tsWwlhhyphenhyphena9G7rPb/s1600/Juju+in+her+self-selected+WFH+outfit%252C+Wed.+May+20%252C+2020.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEpr91VRmkWy-gM9PEvQJnMhtddWOBFTs414uwuqxj_maUrB_5FhXAL_NyYXvOFI4eyChyXmSWH8WqZdpb350Woj92Jzskylgwjrx4iHxG60z4WJfm01beNO-6ls9G4tsWwlhhyphenhyphena9G7rPb/s320/Juju+in+her+self-selected+WFH+outfit%252C+Wed.+May+20%252C+2020.jpg" width="240" /></a>Nevertheless, they produced the most physically perfect little red-headed daughter, who burst from the womb with n unstoppable personality and before a blink, an amazing vocabulary (albeit with the most charming pronunciations).<br />
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But...me a grandma? Impossible. Everyone inquired, "What's your 'grandma name' going to be?" I didn't want one. I finally said, okay, little Julia can call me what my own firstborn was able to say earliest: "Meh-Meh."<br />
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But Julia couldn't say the shvah "eh" sound, so I became "Mimi." I didn't choose Mimi. I chose Mommy, Mama and Mom. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.<br />
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Julia started toddling and became increasingly irresistible. Then she got a job: flower girl at her aunt's wedding. She was to wear a fern wreath on her hair and walk down the aisle dropping rose petals. The wedding, on Memorial Day in a forest, was exquisite. Julia refused the wreath, eschewed the petals, and paused along the walkway. And stole the show, at least for a few minutes.<br />
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Several months later, Julia got a baby sister, Emily. A dark-haired beauty whose language is smiles. But it was too late to start over: I am Mimi, like it or not.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilM82_2rs5NO_ghgRgZGRA4D-uuvsafBa_4cyLPqZq5_XiKn3pUjLBxJfhvLVPzofB1ZBCrBwFfq1x5C3peL9bhHiXx1W_gyHh1ae2UG8h8YNMycsYzFhurCmltViw2FgSaB0jdj-KqZN5/s1600/DSC05721+Emmy+smiles+at+edge+of+pool+with+life+vest.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilM82_2rs5NO_ghgRgZGRA4D-uuvsafBa_4cyLPqZq5_XiKn3pUjLBxJfhvLVPzofB1ZBCrBwFfq1x5C3peL9bhHiXx1W_gyHh1ae2UG8h8YNMycsYzFhurCmltViw2FgSaB0jdj-KqZN5/s320/DSC05721+Emmy+smiles+at+edge+of+pool+with+life+vest.JPG" width="240" /></a>Several months more, and now, in June, 2020, in the midst of coronavirus craziness, the bride Julia momentarily upstaged gave birth. A boy! Definitely the cutest little boy to ever fill a mama's forearm. And I'm no longer to deny my status. Yes, I'm a...Mimi.<br />
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So, Mazel tov to my daughter and son-in-law on the arrival of little Micah, and continued pride to my son and daughter-in-law on the ongoing accomplishments of Julia and Emily as they wend through toddler-hood into childhood, and remind me that time does not freeze. In fact, they say it's like a roll of toilet paper: It goes faster the closer you get to the end. (Back to that river in Egypt!)<br />
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<br />Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-26890261457411388302016-11-09T21:56:00.000-08:002016-11-10T10:42:00.623-08:00The Right Theme Song for a New Era<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Throughout his history-making campaign, the
president-elect concluded each tumultuous rally on the same puzzling note:
playing the Rolling Stones song "You Can't Always Get What You Want', with
a slow, angelic chorus pronouncing the words as if they represented holy writ.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Looking back after Mr. Trump's astonishing triumph, this
may have been a prescient choice.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> People I know who supported Trump did so with reservations, admitting the lewd, crude excess of his </span><i style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;">Access Hollywood</i><span style="font-family: arial, helvetica, sans-serif;"> tape, aggressive and litigious business dealings, 20-year lapse paying taxes, and propensity to insult opponents and critics detracted from his qualifications for the nation's highest office.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But they thought Hillary was worse.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Similarly, those who supported Hillary acknowledged that her Benghazi attack bungle, smirched early legal career, Clinton Foundation questions, potentially dangerous handling of emails, plus Bill's proclivities that brought him impeachment, made her a less-than-ideal candidate.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But they thought Trump was worse.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Both sides liked many of their candidates' positions. Trump fans liked his uncensored directness, his protection of our trade interests and stand against terrorists. Hillary supporters admired her concern for struggling groups, commitment to affordable education, and diplomatic expertise. And that she'd break the glass ceiling.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You can't always get what you want. Even those who went wild for Trump, while ecstatic Hillary won't be our leader, are a little nervous about whether or not their man will--or should--go ahead with all the proposals he made on the campaign trail.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Pres.-elect Trump's promises:</b> An 80-foot wall paid for by Mexico? Since 2006, we've had the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secure_Fence_Act_of_2006">"Secure Fence Act"</a> that requires a barrier along our southern border to curtail illegal immigration. It's been stymied by landowners' resistance and environmental concerns.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Stand back from NATO? Trump won't save allies unless they kick in toward our costs to defend them, but <a href="http://www.nato.int/cps/en/natohq/topics_110496.htm">Article 5</a> of the NATO treaty requires us to protect them.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Remake or revoke trade deals? Mr. Trump says <a href="http://www.economist.com/news/united-states/21709921-americas-next-president-wants-pull-out-existing-trade-deals-and-put-future-ones">China's killing us</a>, but the American companies that rely on Chinese materials, and consumers who love cheap products, don't want the huge tariffs Trump proposes that would <a href="http://www.wsj.com/articles/donald-trump-win-to-upend-trade-policy-1478692802">foment </a>a trade war.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How about the Iran deal Trump says he'll tear up on his first day? He could (and should) do more to stop Iran's nuclear weapons-building, but Iran says the deal is with the UN Security Council and no single country can invalidate it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Repealing and replacing Obamacare? Trump could de-fund the ACA, eviscerating it, and allow plan purchases across state lines, to increase competition. But insurance companies will fold unless they charge enough to cover services, so negotiating particulars of that word "replace" could end up with little advantage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You can't always get what you want.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>A Good Deal requires Concessions.</b> Pres. Trump's operating style might keep him from delivering on his promises. He says everything's a "deal" and if the US has a bad one, we dump it and demand better. But negotiation requires giving as well as taking, and the parties we're approaching won't just cave to Trump's terms without concessions or benefits. If Mr. Trump has his way, we'll prevail and others will cower. Unfortunately, on the world stage, if others displease, you can't sue.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3xmfqiFMkL3YgEvhPjZrSAQxxn0PrRT4qHexv72ZIKAc5fUQGJ4RDWdwtLNqqz6BxNNeogKLvSwGDOUods2htI4TS0urJ9fnaaV2fPffNcIMJDEhb72lPu44dLXRaD967mNrAHgerHXip/s1600/Trump+victory+speech.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3xmfqiFMkL3YgEvhPjZrSAQxxn0PrRT4qHexv72ZIKAc5fUQGJ4RDWdwtLNqqz6BxNNeogKLvSwGDOUods2htI4TS0urJ9fnaaV2fPffNcIMJDEhb72lPu44dLXRaD967mNrAHgerHXip/s320/Trump+victory+speech.jpg" width="316" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Trump at victory speech. (Imitating Alec Baldwin?)</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A major factor that retarded support for Mr. Trump was his verbal attacks on others (GOP primary opponents, Indiana-born Hispanic judge, fallen American Muslim soldier, Chancellor of Germany, beauty queen who gained weight, Senator tortured as a prisoner-of-war, etc.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Every American hopes that Pres. Trump will succeed in increasing jobs and prosperity, fortifying us against terrorism, and strengthening our national unity. His conciliatory election victory speech gives hope that he might eschew his scurrilous verbiage for more positive pronouncements. And I wish he'd occasionally smile. A nice, toothy grin.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So far, except when addressing clergy, Mr. Trump has yet to express gratitude to God, reference scripture, or even close a stump-speech with "God bless America." And yet, he has everything to be grateful for, including the <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/11/09/exit-polls-show-white-evangelicals-voted-overwhelmingly-for-donald-trump/">most support</a> from Evangelicals of any candidate, ever. It is my hope that as he takes on this most consequential of responsibilities, he is conscious of an obligation not only to the American people, but to the One who oversees us all.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It could be a message from on High: You can't always get what you want. But if you try sometimes...you get what you need.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-33520156695082990662016-10-13T21:03:00.001-07:002016-10-13T21:05:48.224-07:00Hillary Hatred, Genital-Grabbing, Friendship-Foundering, and Why Donald Sniffles<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR1pLCaH36cdqKvfSTMG4-LLg9jXnEc9IBeVnc9AmotrNvzRENqUfVLlhrv88rQQuNUTg6DtCQv_QaZAypq14Aw73ClHOHU-VWrspE5OtewuDHh49KOeDrj3gj-GjjMDnbCPHH1hRmTByl/s1600/Hillary+and+Trump%252C+town+hall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="290" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR1pLCaH36cdqKvfSTMG4-LLg9jXnEc9IBeVnc9AmotrNvzRENqUfVLlhrv88rQQuNUTg6DtCQv_QaZAypq14Aw73ClHOHU-VWrspE5OtewuDHh49KOeDrj3gj-GjjMDnbCPHH1hRmTByl/s320/Hillary+and+Trump%252C+town+hall.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Hillary Hatred:</b> In the face of Donald Trump assault reports so close to the election, an alarming number of boosters continue to support him, clinging to the rationalization that Hillary is worse.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Hillary hatred is rampant among conservatives, and I've spoken out against her over Benghazi and her email fiasco. I eschew nearly all of her policies, especially raising income tax and the inheritance tax</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, which I find especially odious, and the federal giveaways she wants to bureaucratize and fund with them</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But--while she's certainly made big mistakes in her many years as first lady, New York Senator and Secretary of State, one must note her consistent though often errant desire to help downtrodden and struggling Americans. Unlike her opponent, she clearly has a moral compass.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Genital-Grabbing:</b> All Hillary's mistakes are Trumped by the mounting and undeniable evidence that Trump is a disgusting lecher, willing to objectify and overpower women for his own conquest and pleasure. For at least 30 years, he's forced himself on any attractive woman in his vicinity, increasing numbers of victims say.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRx6XfSJ6npnhWN6lTrFROFE_I6blultbJTjCXW5w45NfQuVBI2NhvaDXPRUm5kBNHZD5W4-5wFxauClKM31N2JHfNn-i9YvcMG55OSGornHmYURJ2Qsbt0ItWptsO0meMVvm1ToX7ancu/s1600/Jessica+Leeds.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRx6XfSJ6npnhWN6lTrFROFE_I6blultbJTjCXW5w45NfQuVBI2NhvaDXPRUm5kBNHZD5W4-5wFxauClKM31N2JHfNn-i9YvcMG55OSGornHmYURJ2Qsbt0ItWptsO0meMVvm1ToX7ancu/s200/Jessica+Leeds.jpg" width="196" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">His retort is that Bill Clinton hit on women. Last I looked, Bill Clinton is not running for office; candidate Hillary withstood humiliation and heartache 18 years ago because of her husband's misdeeds with Monica Lewinsky and chose to preserve her marriage. (Doesn't that make her a more family-committed candidate than her twice-divorced rival?)</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Her opponent, who is the actual GOP candidate, meanwhile attempts to dismiss a mountain of evidence about his misogynistic aggression. He boasts in the now infamous <i>Access <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRlI2SQ0Ueg">Hollywood</a></i> tape of his habit of assault. A <a href="http://www.snopes.com/2016/06/23/donald-trump-rape-lawsuit/">lawsuit </a></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">with witnesses,</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">claiming he raped a 13-year-old girl, proceeds to a status conference this December 16.<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYSQaCxs3Zvcx9rllWwFMWYBDOZcMSvRfMa4CYaAaV86X8CnAZQN7p79nmS9t70bn_W4NYMfVa2Rm6GnOkE0k3rTsP89ANf3Na5anYwJzz7SnAcvaD_4gjUNd3UDlJMyDIyex12_EPR-pw/s1600/Trump%252C+Access+Hollywood%252C+Bush.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYSQaCxs3Zvcx9rllWwFMWYBDOZcMSvRfMa4CYaAaV86X8CnAZQN7p79nmS9t70bn_W4NYMfVa2Rm6GnOkE0k3rTsP89ANf3Na5anYwJzz7SnAcvaD_4gjUNd3UDlJMyDIyex12_EPR-pw/s320/Trump%252C+Access+Hollywood%252C+Bush.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Trump, Arianne Zucker, & Billy Bush taped Access Hollywood</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The New York Times released a video in which Jessica Leeds recounts Trump's "octopus"-like groping of her breasts and "under her skirt" while seated next to her on a plane 30 years ago; in the </span><a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/10/13/us/politics/donald-trump-women.html" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">same article</a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Rachel Crooks describes her first meeting Trump, in an elevator in 2005, when he immediately "kissed her on the mouth," a "violation" that shocked her. The Washington Post </span><a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/10/12/a-brief-guide-to-the-latest-allegations-made-by-women-against-donald-trump/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">details</a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> the "flood" of women's charges surfacing against the nominee. Trump denies the mounting allegations, attacking the accusers in a flurry that at this point resembles the carnival game, Whack-a-Mole.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Friendship-Foundering: </b>Now that the election is imminent, Trump's sordid actions dominate the news, polarizing the electorate. As his defenses crumble, his loyalists grasp for excuses to remain behind the egregiously boorish nominee, Hillary hatred foremost.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We're no longer fascinated by Trump's repugnant demonizing of immigrants, including undocumented Mexicans he wishes to repel with a "huge" wall paid by Mexico, and the millions more without current paperwork he wishes to ferret out and deport. Concern for his <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/controversial-dictators-leaders-donald-trump-praised/story?id=40373481">admiration</a> of Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong Un, and his desire to <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-nato-idUSKCN1010MC">blast trade agreements</a> and undermine, if not <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-nato-idUSKCN1010MC">dismantle, NATO</a> have faded to the background.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If this were a normal election where policy differences were forefront, we could assess which candidate's policies most closely match our own, and choose one, with confidence that both desire our nation's welfare.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Unfortunately, when he <a href="http://www.wcjb.com/local-news-national-news/2016/10/trump-holds-rally-thousands-ocala">announced</a> in Ocala, Florida (10-12-16) that losing the election would be "the biggest waste of time and money in my life," Trump revealed he's in this not to serve citizens and champion causes, but to claim the biggest prize, the closest we have to becoming King. He will undercut valuable relationships to snag the crown.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He belittles his fellow Republican, the Speaker of the House, who has not withdrawn his endorsement but will focus on supporting down-ticket GOP candidates. He <a href="https://twitter.com/realdonaldtrump/status/785885793340448769">tweets</a> after Sen. John McCain pulls his endorsement, "<span style="background-color: white; color: #292f33; letter-spacing: 0.26px; white-space: pre-wrap;">The very foul mouthed Sen. John McCain begged for my support during his primary (I gave, he won), then dropped me over locker room remarks!"</span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAqj2MIz9Y6ABJcS6Tj_5K_gxaH-sfThj1ne4LMZ3Og6eXbWQeSxUseSruOT5ZFRBcJdJHs9lyP_7e-N81RmiQiPUwA0eQoEWttnFQV2Wi7abB-OwwRqhx0pGTT_VY4EKdvpuPCogYGvBs/s1600/Ryan%252C+Trump%252C+McCain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAqj2MIz9Y6ABJcS6Tj_5K_gxaH-sfThj1ne4LMZ3Og6eXbWQeSxUseSruOT5ZFRBcJdJHs9lyP_7e-N81RmiQiPUwA0eQoEWttnFQV2Wi7abB-OwwRqhx0pGTT_VY4EKdvpuPCogYGvBs/s320/Ryan%252C+Trump%252C+McCain.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Speaker Ryan, the nominee, Sen. McCain. Unfriendly alliances.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Trump forces Hillary-haters to close their eyes to his flagrantly abhorrent behavior and occasionally, like their candidate, <a href="http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/politics/when-politics-get-personal-families-friends-feud-over-clinton-vs-trump/">lash out </a></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/politics/when-politics-get-personal-families-friends-feud-over-clinton-vs-trump/">personally</a> </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">at former friends. At the same time, Trump's pronouncements and tweets <a href="http://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/296331-republican-friendships-shatter-over-trump">ignite the same vitriol from anti-Trumpsters,</a> even if they're merely lukewarm (or less) about Hillary.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I am appalled at Trump's "locker room banter" on a live mike in the workplace of a TV lot</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">. I don't care which political party he was in; I would not vote for someone who brags in a locker room or anywhere that he grabs women's genitals and forcefully kisses them. I'm </span><a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/news/republicans-rebuke-trump-after-access-hollywood-tape-released/" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">not alone</a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> in my revulsion.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Beyond that, I cannot support one who responds to attacks not with rebuttals but with more cutting attacks of the accuser. This has been Trump's style throughout the campaign, and should such conflict occur on the world stage, it could bring our nation to war.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Why Donald Sniffles:</b> I noticed something about Trump's sniffling in both the presidential debate and town hall with Hillary. He only does it when he is uncomfortable with a topic or offering an easily discredited attack. This is like <i>his private lie-detector test.</i> You don't see sniffling when he's confidently stumping in front of adoring crowds; only when he's feeling insecure or knows he might be caught in hyperbole or outright falsehood. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Soon this divisive campaign will be over, and we can move to restoring torn friendships. While I'll relate pleasantly to the Trump defenders I know, I do worry that their fealty has permanently lowered the esteem in which I held them. Even worse, our nation may be facing major damage from the policies and judicial selections either new president implements. Perhaps it's time to pray.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-84154157165510469522016-09-27T00:55:00.001-07:002016-09-27T00:55:53.390-07:00Trump vs. Hillary Debate: You shoulda Watched til the End<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPWIVSrEkrDGszAQx7zcay_BOSk5nO-MtXnbQPx9W8AkhNwwdzQ1UN2aqKXuSrEzLexEfM9v2ZW4bcM7l2I04NS_X2b9PuWTLWFNr0i5n0RB_36Rfi3bBUF62BYETQLRilJ_aXnBxqDYJL/s1600/clinton-trump-debate-hofstra.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPWIVSrEkrDGszAQx7zcay_BOSk5nO-MtXnbQPx9W8AkhNwwdzQ1UN2aqKXuSrEzLexEfM9v2ZW4bcM7l2I04NS_X2b9PuWTLWFNr0i5n0RB_36Rfi3bBUF62BYETQLRilJ_aXnBxqDYJL/s320/clinton-trump-debate-hofstra.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Like ten million others, you tuned in to the Donald Trump-Hillary Clinton presidential debate. Maybe you got a couple beers beforehand; maybe you went to a party where everybody got a few beers before, during and after.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gathered around the 60-inch TV, you watched in expectation as the candidates went at it, Trump unloading his characteristic smirks, head-cocks, grimaces and generalizations about the way he's gonna fix taxes and bring business back to the US, believe me, with a tax on goods coming in. Hillary struck you as smart, with her early comment that put "abyss" in the same sentence as "precipice."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But pretty soon Hillary was back to yada-yada-yada, and Trump just kept on with his negative platitudes about how we're in such debt, and jobs are going away, and, well, you asked your friend how her weekend in Cabo went.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Chatting or snacking or looking at the mail became interesting. Hillary smiled at Donald's insults, and spoke in complete sentences. And if you kept watching, you might have noticed Donald slowly melting down. He repeated himself. He started babbling. He got defensive, insisting for far too long that he never supported the war in Iraq, and you can ask this one and then the next one...same with his waffling on the Birther issue--when he claimed his accomplishment was to get Obama to release his birth certificate, and then got tangled in whether or not he really cared about the subject all the years he's been blathering about it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He crashed on his twice-corrected insistence that he couldn't reveal his tax returns, and fell splat on questions of his inheritance and stiffing workers of their pay. His answers on racism weren't much different from Hillary's except his repetition of "law and order."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If your friend's trip to Cabo hadn't been so interesting, you might have kept watching to see these Trump pratfalls, but after the first half hour, the exercise got so yawn-worthy, well, you felt you'd been there, done that.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLp_q6unIiS1mMHdOH0EHmGZi00y-zqnie1Jyfjc3uas8KE2tFkdzVuz2EKJTEU083UmicVUxc-hEy8P8zs_gEe4kGGSsahDH-E4HPWQ-4GGHlQ5OGE5zDeCOtNsqOKSMh_XgrAgF3YaST/s1600/debate+9-26-16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLp_q6unIiS1mMHdOH0EHmGZi00y-zqnie1Jyfjc3uas8KE2tFkdzVuz2EKJTEU083UmicVUxc-hEy8P8zs_gEe4kGGSsahDH-E4HPWQ-4GGHlQ5OGE5zDeCOtNsqOKSMh_XgrAgF3YaST/s320/debate+9-26-16.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's the thing: anyone for Hillary came away from the TV feeling smug. Anyone for Donald was unmoved, because it's not really what he says that earns support, it's the way he says it. And he stayed the course with his "it's a disaster" message about everything in the US, and even insisting that paying no taxes was 'good business' earned the cheers of those eager to snub the sensible yada-yada-yada of politics as usual--which Hillary so capably represents.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-78193273696207274222016-07-22T17:49:00.000-07:002016-07-22T17:49:18.234-07:00I Was There: The Cleveland Republican National Convention<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr6TVsUEade4LDdmSARroGZZOX6vz0vAEPX_c75_CpzJgZa9cr3mRKcw1bdvt9bINsh_dB7KGGYpZLmSkZgeTZiOwKd4xJlzYPm_ikOETBW1G5xamq2BQMCTqYm2wpLY_-XO_JdvknCha5/s1600/DSC04990.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr6TVsUEade4LDdmSARroGZZOX6vz0vAEPX_c75_CpzJgZa9cr3mRKcw1bdvt9bINsh_dB7KGGYpZLmSkZgeTZiOwKd4xJlzYPm_ikOETBW1G5xamq2BQMCTqYm2wpLY_-XO_JdvknCha5/s400/DSC04990.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">My photos of the Republican National Convention 7-21-16</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just got off the plane from Cleveland, where I spent five days interacting--and not--at the Republican National Convention.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What was it like? Chaos, conflict, whispers to us from people saying they're not for Trump. The fact they'd look over their shoulders while whispering says something.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The people who paid their own money to attend, and that's all the delegates and most in the audience (including me) came to the convention a mixed bag. Most were already on board for Trump; some delegates were committed to others. The vote Monday night to release delegates to vote according to personal choice failed narrowly. That sewed up the Trump coronation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The rest of the convention, from my vantage, seemed like what you'd expect--an effort to build momentum for Trump. And in Cleveland, it was effective.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Trump's greatest assets are his children, and they'd practiced their well-crafted speeches and delivered them well. Melania's, embroiled in a plagiarism dispute, then concession afterward, was endearing, because it was clear that she was uncomfortable and that English is her second language.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was disappointed in Marco Rubio's one-minute, twenty second videotaped endorsement. He looked like a wimp.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ted Cruz started out in person at the Convention podium congratulating Donald Trump for winning the primary race and the nomination. He went on to urge conservative principles by voting for Republicans down-ticket. The boos for suggesting they vote their consciences reflected the type of crowd who chose to attend this particular topsy-turvy event.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The climax on Thursday night featured one heavy-handed piece of Trump praise after the next. However, I must say I was reminded of my last convention experience in Tampa, where the same laudatory style of lineup effectively introduced Mitt Romney. The glorification squad was conspicuously heavy on women and people of color, especially in videos featuring employees of the Trump organization.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ivanka's introduction was a litany of women's issues--day care, maternity leave, women's <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKPJZzi2hjE_xdFnzgtkyVDaxcT2tq8GKtXDL8_e_aACzy_FrWP9FL739VsIOqlT9Cnu9WIDQijUJdnu2uN1-_LGaZaxd9D5iubYQjRRniXEgxc7gKbfy7aDKuOoAsNrAiOSb8A7LstdnR/s1600/DSC04978.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKPJZzi2hjE_xdFnzgtkyVDaxcT2tq8GKtXDL8_e_aACzy_FrWP9FL739VsIOqlT9Cnu9WIDQijUJdnu2uN1-_LGaZaxd9D5iubYQjRRniXEgxc7gKbfy7aDKuOoAsNrAiOSb8A7LstdnR/s320/DSC04978.JPG" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Ivanka Trump praising her dad</span></td></tr>
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wages, set in a well-written series of personal testimonials about her father's competence--"</span><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #282828;"><span style="line-height: 26.88px;">I’ve learned a lot about the world from walking construction jobs by his side." She has the advantages of being a female millennial.</span></span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #282828;"><span style="line-height: 26.88px;"><br /></span></span></span></span>
<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #282828;"><span style="line-height: 26.88px;">Trump has an arrogant air and a ceaseless smirk. He read his speech from a teleprompter and it touched upon everything on a conservative's wish list except where the money will come from to pay for new big-ticket items he proposes--tax reductions, bolstering the military, "taking care of our veterans," making college affordable. </span></span></span></span><span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; color: #282828; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 26.88px;">He repeated his (to my mind, offensive) determination to build a big wall to keep out Hispanics crossing the southern border, as well as his pledge to spurn any immigrants from countries with terrorist issues.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: #f8f8f8; color: #282828; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; line-height: 26.88px;">By the time the balloons and confetti fell, the hall had reverberated to chants of "lock her up!" and several rounds of "U-S-A!" All the America-First-ism and "I am your law and order candidate!" talk was a bit scary to me. The hordes were fired up and ready to go; a moment's distraction by a woman hoping to hoist some kind of protest sign (she was white; I couldn't read the sign) was quickly squelched. By the way, Trump did thank the evangelical Christian community, but he never used the word "God" in his speech other than the perfunctory "God bless you" at the very end.<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6M-QSU1sDHQx-_At58SHb6XhiyJSA1OTQ2FO-eOqoy749a1Z1cr08yz3KNWQBK8icID4N57nOhCcJUANuav6SYrBYYwrMlUFORVINbixePyKvT1QuVGeqQGNgD3dzk4yWNcb-QsgISICp/s1600/DSC05028.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6M-QSU1sDHQx-_At58SHb6XhiyJSA1OTQ2FO-eOqoy749a1Z1cr08yz3KNWQBK8icID4N57nOhCcJUANuav6SYrBYYwrMlUFORVINbixePyKvT1QuVGeqQGNgD3dzk4yWNcb-QsgISICp/s320/DSC05028.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">When the balloons and confetti fell, everyone cheered</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The upshot: The mood in Cleveland concluded as exuberantly as any other convention, mainly because everyone left participating was already aboard the Trump Train.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The news coverage, however, was a lot less celebratory, and with the Democratic Convention upcoming, I think any uptick the Republicans gain this week will be cancelled out next week.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But this year, with two disliked candidates, it's anybody's call. My takeaway is that the campaign still has a long way to go.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-57427670475338887322016-05-05T17:54:00.003-07:002016-05-05T22:57:00.791-07:00Trump turns American Values Upside Down<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivcWRlj6K7wBWaylxZjqT7zWr25WuQgkogZLMCL5OgDvAKi1Gi_O0gc6swHZRgHnb7Quxosq7c7sOyGFtZlotyhH6WjeobFk881yI6mFqWvUBb9j4Dec0jhQ-A5FbrIr0lGInx75idrerq/s1600/Marla+Maples+headline.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivcWRlj6K7wBWaylxZjqT7zWr25WuQgkogZLMCL5OgDvAKi1Gi_O0gc6swHZRgHnb7Quxosq7c7sOyGFtZlotyhH6WjeobFk881yI6mFqWvUBb9j4Dec0jhQ-A5FbrIr0lGInx75idrerq/s320/Marla+Maples+headline.jpg" width="262" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In the past, the American electorate expected certain qualifications and behaviors of its President.The office carried a certain gravitas, a certain level of respect and decorum required in recognition of the responsibility carried by that august post. Now, to our nation's detriment, the GOP candidate, Donald Trump, is turning those values upside down.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Morality:</b> Ronald Reagan, considered a Republican icon, had a serious smirch on his record when he ran for president in 1980: he was divorced from Jane Wyman and a few years later married Nancy, in one of the most touching relationships of our time. Yet divorce suggested that one couldn't breach differences--which was a qualification especially important during the Cold War.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Divorce also suggested a disrespect for the family, a lack of concern for children, and a failure in one's past. How can we escape the comparison with Donald Trump's braggadocio, demurring in <i>The Art of the Comeback</i> to detail his experiences with "often seemingly very happily married and important women"? Two of his three marriages ended distastefully in divorce, one after philandering with <a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/celebrities/ci_29616061/marla-maples-top-memories-her-fabulous-scandalous-life">Marla Maples</a>, whose rapturous headline about it blared across the New York Post: "Best Sex I've Ever Had," with a smirking Donald-head as the full-page graphic.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At their 1993 wedding, Marla and Donald's daughter Tiffany was already two months old. Trump exited that marriage after six years upon catching Marla and her bodyguard in a roadside compromising position. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Ronald Reagan looked at the many immigrants who'd come to our country without paperwork--often because their own country's system was corrupt--and who worked dedicatedly in an array of jobs upwardly mobile Americans increasingly eschewed. What did he grant them? <i>Amnesty,</i> a word now reviled by the right, and derided by Trump.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Compassion</b> for those fleeing untenable conditions in their countries seems missing with Trump. He'd apply (an unconstitutional) religious test for entry, barring all Muslims, and spend $200,000 in taxpayer funds to deport <i>each</i> of 11.3 million undocumented residents, ripping them from their jobs, their homes (a third of the undocumented <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/news/undocumented-own-u-s-homes-and-pay-billions-in-taxes/">own homes</a>, up to 46% in several states) and their families. Clever businessman Trump seems to think the huge taxpayer cost to rid our nation of entrants with immigration infractions is a better course than <i>receiving</i> billions of dollars for our flagging Social Security and Medicare coffers. Between 1996-2003, the undocumented gave <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/how-illegal-immigrants-pay-taxes-2012-3">$90 billion</a> to those two programs, an amount that's only escalated since then.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The Statue of Liberty must be cringing.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Incivility:</b> Parents used to inspire their children with the phrase "You could grow up to be President!" but what parent wants his child to emulate the coarse speech of the GOP candidate? His language is childish--in South Carolina he <a href="https://www.yahoo.com/news/the-strange-power-of-donald-1397103083307062.html">boasted</a>, "I know words. I have the best words."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But far worse is that the words he seems to know are rude, vapid and bullying. We teach our children not to insult others, particularly on their physical characteristics, and then laugh and even support one who spouts the most crass denouncements, particularly about women. This is no help to teen girls struggling to value themselves for their potentials rather than their physicalities. And it abets boys' worst inclinations.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A <a href="https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=most+offensive+Trump+quotes">Google search</a> for "most offensive Trump quotes" brings 1.1 million results.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>International Relations:</b> I</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">n the past, the crucial criterion for US President was foreign affairs knowledge and experience. After all, the primary function of the federal government is to protect the safety of our United States.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Take a look at some of Trump's <a href="http://www.ontheissues.org/2016/Donald_Trump_Foreign_Policy.htm">foreign policies</a> and see how well-considered they are. For example, on Syria: "</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I do not like the people coming. What they should do is, the countries should all get together, including the Gulf states, who have nothing but money, they should all get together and they should take a big swath of land in Syria and they do a safe zone for people, where they could go to live, and then ultimately go back to their country, go back to where they came from." Easy-peasy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzPbrfzWGjNiGQRn5BdxJUHZBrKKHM3Ka5kUzapzWRbd8IVtOLeNqGapuqKfUQR-A36KJkpmYlJ8CJ2m96aUmr8MeJRUv7y-07dIyTb3e1ropWo5V7mP9lON01yXJx89WqaQxn5qKVgnJe/s1600/trump+and+crowd.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzPbrfzWGjNiGQRn5BdxJUHZBrKKHM3Ka5kUzapzWRbd8IVtOLeNqGapuqKfUQR-A36KJkpmYlJ8CJ2m96aUmr8MeJRUv7y-07dIyTb3e1ropWo5V7mP9lON01yXJx89WqaQxn5qKVgnJe/s320/trump+and+crowd.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>Domestic Issues: </b> Since Trump decided to purge the US of undocumented immigrants, Mexicans in particular, (ignoring the facts that <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2016/01/19/immigration-visa-overstays-department-of-homeland-security-report/79026708/">40% of the undocumented arrived legally</a>, and that half <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/11/19/5-facts-about-illegal-immigration-in-the-u-s/">of illegals came from countries other than Mexico</a>), he's made several questionable proposals. First is his insistence that Mexico pay for an 80-foot wall along the border. <a href="https://www.donaldjtrump.com/positions/pay-for-the-wall">His means</a> toward that is to forbid the transfer of funds into Mexico by anyone without proof of legal residency, depriving poor families of sustenance.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On the economy, he advocates continuing the soon-to-be bankrupt Social Security and Medicare systems (and also <a href="https://www.donaldjtrump.com/positions/healthcare-reform">replacing Obamacare</a>) though he mentions neither of these among the six topics he covers in the <a href="https://www.donaldjtrump.com/positions">"positions"</a> section of his website. His trade proposals, according to <a href="http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-trump-trade-idUSKCN0WQ0WG">many</a> including a New York Times <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/05/03/us/politics/donald-trump-trade-policy-china.html">analysis</a>, would not create more American jobs and could result in Chinese retaliation, though many of his plans appear to violate international trade law.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">On Race Relations--well I dare you to read the entire transcript of a <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2016/03/21/a-transcript-of-donald-trumps-meeting-with-the-washington-post-editorial-board/">March 21 interview</a> with the Washington Post. In it Trump is repeatedly asked how he would heal racial divides, and he gives redundant, evasive responses that with great tenacity can be reduced to increasing "spirit" in cities like Baltimore and Detroit, and providing jobs for unemployed Black males by bringing work from China "back" to the US.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><b>A New (scary) Priority:</b> I've tried to open-mindedly understand the basis of Trump-supporters' zeal, reading many <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/heres-who-supports-donald-trump--and-why/2016/03/03/7674b578-e088-11e5-846c-10191d1fc4ec_story.html">articles</a> in which they attempt to explain. The take-away is that Trump is a tough-guy deal-maker who gives vent to their frustration with the political establishment and will push through his policies, as off-the-cuff (and therefore appealing) as they may be. This is a value I fear--response to feelings rather than logic; to emotion rather than consideration, and especially-- to immediate gratification rather than a broader view. Trumpsters reject the characteristics once sought in a president.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"The Establishment" was always the enemy to rebellious youth, I'm sure since before beatniks in the 50s, or hippies in the 60s, and it's sure the villain on the Trump train. But if you think about it--rising to <i>become "</i>The Establishment" requires the skills we need in a leader. Someone who can understand the system, start at the bottom, work his or her way up, along the way gaining experience, expertise and wisdom. The fact that Trumpsters think seasoned lawmakers--all chosen by their constituents--who've survived this process and worked with their colleagues for years should be "trumped" by a renegade, lawsuit-mired political neophyte shows the dizzy effect of so many values turned upside down.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-72598508934281414762016-04-18T23:09:00.003-07:002021-08-30T19:19:08.082-07:00Why People Don't Talk About Religion<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_G4L4-UYgFWqAQvDl8Orf0wuPmuvCC-FZy-BoSUNgYA8uP3Y2F0T-IiiObgy46AZZM0WqH47KOCf8I_qJF8121sviJdvbl88ZbjTriAuArP6W5pPEGjPREFA2g7Ondgo3ZZRUN4h33fEN/s1600/religions+symbols.gif" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_G4L4-UYgFWqAQvDl8Orf0wuPmuvCC-FZy-BoSUNgYA8uP3Y2F0T-IiiObgy46AZZM0WqH47KOCf8I_qJF8121sviJdvbl88ZbjTriAuArP6W5pPEGjPREFA2g7Ondgo3ZZRUN4h33fEN/s320/religions+symbols.gif" width="320" /></a></div>
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I'm listening to the <a href="http://www.michaelmedved.com/">Michael Medved</a> radio show, and he's talking about why few people are willing to discuss religion in social situations. Let me offer my response.</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Remember when there were two topics not to be discussed in polite company lest someone become upset? Those two used to be politics and religion. No longer. Now, politics may be <i>like</i> a religion to many people, but talking politics reigns, as radio and Saturday Night Live, and outlets for our feelings--like this blog--let us spew our passions about current events to anyone with a smartphone or computer.</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">But the taboo against discussing religion is stronger than ever, as one's faith is considered extremely personal. Unless you believe that it's your duty and job to lead others to it.</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">For most people, uncertainty about God and what God wants is a bit disturbing, and sometimes brings guilt, confusion, doubt or discomfort. It involves many emotions, and rests in the intangible and un-provable. That's why it's called "faith."</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Making people uncomfortable isn't a nice thing to do. Much better to avoid the topic and keep the relationship on an intellectual, real-life basis.</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">I confess that at our Shabbat table I made a mistake and asked two guests to explain, in one case what brought her into her religion, and in another case, what led him to leave it.</span><br />
<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">The one who came to her church said "it just felt right." The one who left it said his research regarding the physical world caused him to disbelieve tenets of the faith.</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">As a psychologist, I love learning how people think. And I care about the people I invite for Shabbat, and want to know more about them. As a hostess, though, I'm a flop--I made two guests uncomfortable. I hereby apologize for putting them on the spot.</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">If you believe that scriptures are from God, and that they're the truth, you're going to be passionate about them. Other than from its own material, can any religion prove it's correct, or that other people should believe it? Can anyone be objective about the religion he accepts as God's word?</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">In a nation becoming increasingly diverse as immigrants from more varied homelands contribute their cultures and beliefs, it's ever-more-difficult to insist any single faith is "the one." The only thing adherents can assert is that it's "the one for <i>me</i>."</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">That's why the Shabbat guest who answered "it just felt right" is as worthy of respect as the one who said, in effect, "it no longer felt right." And unless you want to get into doctrines--and who does?--what kind of conversation is that?</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Much better to just let it go. It's part of our tolerance trend, or the "whatever gender you say you are" shrug, or our "as long as nobody's hurt" acceptance. Sure, you can do your religion, and I'll either do mine, or, as increasingly politically correct, I'll do none, thank you. Not talking about religion now falls under the banner of <i>respect. </i>You can't knock respect.</span><br />
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<span face="Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif">Except when you're talking about politics...</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-42136411892494281252016-04-14T21:14:00.000-07:002016-04-15T01:54:30.953-07:00Lucky to live in the US: Murder Rates Down Sharply in the Land of Law and Gratitude<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRJ2s02-qIUvhnRgCgYCHJdT-LkTMsZzSCJm0hDP0gOvVg0W3j93wFN5GRqx6l-fy3OhwC88Q40IkN9u0bjlohyphenhyphenaMaZa-iN3rKiHxG75e9EmQDHWE2Y2Qg2xo7xIa-I1CF9VPsycpzj_hg/s1600/naturalization+four.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="235" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRJ2s02-qIUvhnRgCgYCHJdT-LkTMsZzSCJm0hDP0gOvVg0W3j93wFN5GRqx6l-fy3OhwC88Q40IkN9u0bjlohyphenhyphenaMaZa-iN3rKiHxG75e9EmQDHWE2Y2Qg2xo7xIa-I1CF9VPsycpzj_hg/s320/naturalization+four.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Newly naturalized citizens sing "God Bless America"</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In these days when the presidential race is driving everyone batty, and candidates capitalize on how awful everything is, we need some good news. Here it is.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Black lives and all lives do matter, and more of them are being preserved. A <a href="http://www.heraldnet.com/article/20160331/NEWS02/160339873">new study</a> i</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">n the American Sociological Review </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">of 131 of the largest US metropolitan areas found the rate of homicides way down, within and across black, Hispanic and White populations.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Changes in the two decades between 1990 and 2010 are only for the best--and show great strides.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*The black-white homicide victimization rate gap decreased by 40%.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*White homicides are down from 4.8 per 100,000 in 1990 to 3.1 in 2010.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*The black homicide rate went down from 33.9 per 100,000 in 1990 to 20.5 in 2010.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">*Homicides of Hispanics crashed from 12.4 per 100,000 in 2010 to 6.6 in 2010--a forty-seven percent decrease.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And the new research contradicts certain candidates' claims, by showing that immigrants very rarely perpetrate crimes. "People who decide to come here are not people with strong tendencies toward violent crime," says study co-author Jeffrey T. Ulmer of Penn State University. "They are coming here for educational opportunities, employment opportunities and opportunities to help their families."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We're so lucky to live in the U.S.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A good friend came by, wearing a long face. "What's the matter?" I asked. He was grieving over the <a href="http://mynorthwest.com/258549/body-of-missing-mayor-found-in-el-salvador/">murder-by-gunshot </a>of the mayor of his hometown, San Dionisio in El Salvador. He explained that the mayor, elected to his sixth 3-year term, was beloved by all, because he gave building materials, food and assistance to his impoverished constituents. Mayor Julio Torres had gone missing after milking the cows at his dairy farm. A day later, after an intense search, his body was found. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGr_A5-RZXVK7OuZeaWyZQHPNpCOAF7ys7wtyhT5tN63SpIW_XiCvlUaJhWQzHTa2c-WJIrrAQV5_w0gIA1y3qgKhB7gLmXfW1AjRU0tHQahdBPS1y9-S_m_jfBn2wLpqUI71oftGQZGrL/s1600/julio-torres-767x438.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="182" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGr_A5-RZXVK7OuZeaWyZQHPNpCOAF7ys7wtyhT5tN63SpIW_XiCvlUaJhWQzHTa2c-WJIrrAQV5_w0gIA1y3qgKhB7gLmXfW1AjRU0tHQahdBPS1y9-S_m_jfBn2wLpqUI71oftGQZGrL/s320/julio-torres-767x438.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Julio Torres, beloved mayor of San Dionisio, murdered by gangs</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">El Salvador has no rule of law. My friend describes bus drivers, fruit vendors and even children accosted on the street by armed robbers, who murder their victims whether or not they have any money to give. Gangs rule and the government can't contain them.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiy3eY-s3fQmBP0vwpPpsTYTU8TPjlQMLGVaAt1gj6Vvhgb4O71cRFAYRBXjmrA9v_p1WWNGA1pju46BTNKS5kxW96A-Vr3-tmAUNaNIKzhaICAIikWbAw_3SECLVbtwG8AEESJNltZ33f/s1600/naturalization+two.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiy3eY-s3fQmBP0vwpPpsTYTU8TPjlQMLGVaAt1gj6Vvhgb4O71cRFAYRBXjmrA9v_p1WWNGA1pju46BTNKS5kxW96A-Vr3-tmAUNaNIKzhaICAIikWbAw_3SECLVbtwG8AEESJNltZ33f/s320/naturalization+two.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">"When you sit down, you'll be US Citizens."</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In contrast, my son told me today of his co-worker, who accompanied his wife to her US naturalization ceremony yesterday. The co-worker described the intense emotion with which the new citizens received their status. They rose to raise their hands and recite an oath of allegiance, and the judge told them, "when you sit down again, you will all be American citizens." The tears of gratitude flowed for the significance of that moment.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We should not take our homeland for granted. God bless America.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-74992057180501704952016-03-27T19:50:00.001-07:002016-04-07T05:21:27.102-07:00Is Trump a Sociopath?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7uPH7cqL7Cdy4w0j2IKCy4ugO8ORMq3PyK3i9jDnATQKQoJoZBc0hjM-grO8ALlI9Rlpt2GPknTFqqG0uw6mQuYha67MPazun7QG1U2dD-CYMKJgerhbAfCHBXDQNlxTpnMUiwcv75bdD/s1600/Donald+Trump+points+to+head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="215" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7uPH7cqL7Cdy4w0j2IKCy4ugO8ORMq3PyK3i9jDnATQKQoJoZBc0hjM-grO8ALlI9Rlpt2GPknTFqqG0uw6mQuYha67MPazun7QG1U2dD-CYMKJgerhbAfCHBXDQNlxTpnMUiwcv75bdD/s400/Donald+Trump+points+to+head.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">At our Sabbath lunch table yesterday, one of my guests asked me pointedly, "Given your expertise as a psychologist, would you say Donald Trump is a sociopath?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I can't give a professional diagnosis, but from his public appearances and the way he continuously makes inflamatory (perhaps racist, perhaps misogynistic) statements, you'd have to wonder. Here's a list of sociopathological <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201305/how-spot-sociopath">characteristics</a> useful in evaluating Trump*:</span><br />
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<ul style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, 'DejaVu Sans', sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 24px; margin: 0px 0px 24px 38px; padding: 0px;">
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Superficial <a class="inline-links topic-link" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/charisma" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: black; padding-bottom: 2px; text-decoration: none; transition: color 0.2s; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Psychology Today looks at charm">charm</a> and good <a class="inline-links topic-link" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/intelligence" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: black; padding-bottom: 2px; text-decoration: none; transition: color 0.2s; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Psychology Today looks at intelligence">intelligence</a></li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Absence of delusions and other signs of irrational thinking</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Absence of nervousness or <a class="inline-links topic-link" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/neuroticism" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: black; padding-bottom: 2px; text-decoration: none; transition: color 0.2s; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Psychology Today looks at neurotic ">neurotic </a>manifestations</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Unreliability</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Untruthfulness and insincerity</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Lack of remorse and <a class="inline-links topic-link" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/embarrassment" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: black; padding-bottom: 2px; text-decoration: none; transition: color 0.2s; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Psychology Today looks at shame">shame</a></li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Inadequately motivated antisocial behavior</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Poor judgment and failure to learn by experience</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Pathologic egocentricity and incapacity for <a class="inline-links topic-link" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/relationships" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: black; padding-bottom: 2px; text-decoration: none; transition: color 0.2s; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Psychology Today looks at love">love</a></li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">General poverty in major affective reactions</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Specific loss of insight</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Unresponsiveness in general interpersonal relations</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Fantastic and uninviting behavior with <a class="inline-links topic-link" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/alcohol" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: black; padding-bottom: 2px; text-decoration: none; transition: color 0.2s; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Psychology Today looks at alcohol ">alcohol </a>and sometimes without</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;"><a class="inline-links topic-link" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/basics/sex" style="background-attachment: initial; background-clip: initial; background-image: initial; background-origin: initial; background-position: initial; background-repeat: initial; background-size: initial; border-bottom-color: rgb(153, 153, 153); border-bottom-style: dashed; border-bottom-width: 1px; color: black; padding-bottom: 2px; text-decoration: none; transition: color 0.2s; word-wrap: break-word;" title="Psychology Today looks at Sex">Sex</a> life impersonal, trivial, and poorly integrated</li>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 12px;">Failure to follow any life plan</li>
</ul>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">You can judge for yourself, but I do know that politically, Trump is dysfunctional and self-destructive. How so? He undermines his own progress by needlessly going on the offensive (literally).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Out of the blue, weeks after his last TV debate with Megyn Kelly, he decided to Tweet another hit on the Fox News anchor, adding to his collection of childish names, including "sick," "overrated," "unwatchable," and "crazy."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He got in trouble previously for snarky comments about former rival Carly Fiorina's looks ("Look at that face. Can you imagine that as the face of our next President?"). Then he went after Heidi Cruz, threatening to "spill the beans" about her, and then publishing an unflattering photo with a glamour shot of his wife, a former-model.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Next comes a front-page <a href="http://www.nationalenquirer.com/celebrity/ted-cruz-sex-scandal-mistresses-cheating-claims/">Enquirer</a> banner story that blared, "It's over for Pervy Ted! Their </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-F1CTVbiq7iUexSYonI7ExsUdMXGqI3qlWorJTbH4nC_NfQr63OnXW3bSW4MqmYL-EIosEE99jMV77dGPZ2SonH1p9fAuUPCQ7zdeJp35JkL9HYlcN6VF20Bs3QJ6HC4M0CkAjs79DBe5/s1600/Trump+smiles+at+suspicious+Cruz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-F1CTVbiq7iUexSYonI7ExsUdMXGqI3qlWorJTbH4nC_NfQr63OnXW3bSW4MqmYL-EIosEE99jMV77dGPZ2SonH1p9fAuUPCQ7zdeJp35JkL9HYlcN6VF20Bs3QJ6HC4M0CkAjs79DBe5/s320/Trump+smiles+at+suspicious+Cruz.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Shocking Claims--Cruz's Five Secret Mistresses!" Cruz quickly called the story "trash" and blamed Trump's "henchmen." (Trump denied association to the Enquirer story, adding, "while they were right about OJ Simpson, John Edwards and many others, I certainly hope they are not right about Lyin' Ted Cruz.")</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">How does this wallowing in the muck help Trump? Even his base must question the sanity of their candidate's uncontrollable tweets. At at time when Trump most needs to look credibly Presidential, he undermines any gains with his impulsive, aggressive jabs. Trump's success at </span><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHmINZRwiZU" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">AIPAC</a> <span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">with a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bHmINZRwiZU">speech</a> by his son-in-law Jered Kushner (Trump's only teleprompter-read presentation</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">) was immediately undone by his renewed sleazy attacks.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This is dysfunction: Working to set yourself up for success and then undermining your own efforts.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My husband made an excellent observation: Trump wants to win, but he doesn't want to govern. It's a conflict that causes him to self-sabotage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If he really wanted to win, he wouldn't shoot himself in the foot (reminds me of his <a href="http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2016/01/23/464129029/donald-trump-i-could-shoot-somebody-and-i-wouldnt-lose-any-voters">comment</a> "I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn't lose any voters, OK?"). If indeed he's not stupid, and I am increasingly unsure about that, he would see that to win, he must widen his support, not endanger it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">He needs to prove his grasp of domestic and international issues, leading the military, and working with those who oppose him. Instead, he's mired in cutting comments, personal lawsuits and scandals, and general assurances that we needn't know specifics because, believe him, his solutions will be great and brilliant. His pattern is to foment criticism, and then</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> lash out with an even harsher attack.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This penchant for self-destruction is now leaving even those who once admired his chutzpah astonished. There's no point in crudely attacking a fellow Republican, especially if Trump has confidence (as he often asserts) that he'll earn nomination. Trump has lowered the campaign to where parents now must shield their children from the political process.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">A new <a href="http://www.alternet.org/election-2016/trump-disliked-more-republican-party-even-its-lowest-favorability-rating-years">Bloomberg poll </a>taken March 18-22 finds Trump's net favorability rating just 29%; his net unfavorable is 68%. Hillary's favorable is 44% and her unfavorable 53%. In a contest between the two, who wins?</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnjcR3rCJvEUH-p70mXUHRktMUrq_SZxpyjydD7fBZ3sUhfEg3g0wsRuWEd_kpOUoLJ-l0CRHdSsB3nvjlAdBV4og1Hh8qOojExmi_5aIPL20MIf7ikdvP0Ox4R4bSsNwJjwxW5d3oaJIs/s1600/Kasich+head.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="183" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnjcR3rCJvEUH-p70mXUHRktMUrq_SZxpyjydD7fBZ3sUhfEg3g0wsRuWEd_kpOUoLJ-l0CRHdSsB3nvjlAdBV4og1Hh8qOojExmi_5aIPL20MIf7ikdvP0Ox4R4bSsNwJjwxW5d3oaJIs/s200/Kasich+head.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">John Kasich: I think, therefore I can</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Therefore, I repeat my post of two weeks ago: a vote for Trump is a vote for Hillary. At this point, Republicans desperately need a candidate who can attract both Hillary haters and Trump disdainers. Cruz is also disliked, with unfavorables at 55% and favorables just 32%. Kasich seems too far from getting the nod, but his favorability, according to the same Bloomberg poll, is 46%, higher than Hillary's, and his unfavorability is lower than hers, at just 32%. He's actually the best-liked of the lot.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I find Kasich a bit creepy, but I do admire that he refused to join the Trump mud-slinging, and focuses on policies and experience. He might be the best bet to save the GOP, and the nation, from spiraling disaster.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">We certainly cannot afford to have a sociopath for President.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">* Characteristics of a sociopath from Thomas, M.E., "How to Spot a Sociopath," Psychology Today, May 7, 2013.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-17626300622140116312016-03-13T01:03:00.001-08:002016-03-13T16:27:18.049-07:00You support Trump? Here's my Reply<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi34zKfgYPmABJFRVeo8pSSkGAuZVLxATGz4gUwp9Wu8t-22xnnmnDjfvy-WBsPgQKwWNz8LqHhsy0dgNTirna6BAEBwmR7TDOcNYNg5oFBAziKECj9QBcEmy0K9zP7KDln7NSR1LbLvuwk/s1600/Donald.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi34zKfgYPmABJFRVeo8pSSkGAuZVLxATGz4gUwp9Wu8t-22xnnmnDjfvy-WBsPgQKwWNz8LqHhsy0dgNTirna6BAEBwmR7TDOcNYNg5oFBAziKECj9QBcEmy0K9zP7KDln7NSR1LbLvuwk/s320/Donald.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Donald Trump. It's not easy being orange.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Recently someone I respect sent me a newsy email in which he casually mentioned that he supported Trump.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It was as if a giant elephant just fell into the room. <i>"How could you possibly support Trump?"</i> I asked, agog.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I do try to understand; I read <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/08/donald-trump-voters/401408/">articles</a> with quotes from Trumpites, and they say the GOP front-runner expresses their anger, or he says what they're thinking, or he's politically incorrect and will shake everything up, or he's a deal-maker and running the country is about deals.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Few Trumpsters say they support him because they like his policies, or they revere his upstanding character, or for his record in international relations, domestic lawmaking, handling crises or joining together opposing groups.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Far from uniting us, as he claims he'll do, feelings about Trump are polarizing Americans, individually, and in small and large groups. Politics' divisiveness is impinging on our lives and causing depression. And speaking of psychoses, I cannot understand how Ben Carson endorsed
him, after Trump <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2015/11/donald-trumps-extraordinary-attack-on-ben-carson/415791/">called out</a> Carson's "psychological disease," and suggested he's a "child molester" and a “sick puppy.” (Dr. Carson in his endorsement said there are "two Donald Trumps." Is that the doctor's diagnosis of schizophrenia?)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> I am flummoxed that Chris Christie endorsed him so shortly after <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/chris-christie-donald-trump-temperament-president-2015-8">asserting</a> Trump "did not have the temperament" for the presidency.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's true that a president needs tact. Trump demonstrates little understanding of the delicacy of diplomacy in any context. And were he to have access to nuclear bombs and armies, it could mean literally the
end of the world. Those stakes are too high.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Trump may be right that he "<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/23/politics/donald-trump-shoot-somebody-support/">could shoot someone without losing voters.</a>" Thousands of <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/12/us/politics/donald-trump-trump-university.html?_r=0">Trump University</a> students and the New York Attorney General are actively suing, claiming enrollees were misled into a fraudulent educational experience. Doesn't matter, Trumpers know it's fine, since Donald </span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">shrugged it off on TV.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If he were honest in and about his business dealings, I wouldn't care that some of his endeavors failed. Much more important to presidential success is proven ability to work in the milieu of Washington. The culture and protocol of national politics will not crumble, even if a brazen
president wills it. Thousands of people have built careers within a reliable web of agreements
and relationships, and will not scrap their investments in Washington's political structure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Trump can
never win the presidency because the <a href="http://www.gallup.com/opinion/polling-matters/188936/trump-negative-image.aspx">majority of voters,</a> even voters and politicos in his
</span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">own party</i><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">, disdain him. Not just because he's an arrogant bully (though he is) but mainly because he is dangerously unpredictable. We don’t know what he plans to do, and if he hints at something in response to a journalist's questioning, he’s only too willing to totally change it, even on the same day, if his feelings change.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Every debate and speech Trump makes teaches us how he operates, and that is, Donald
Trump <i>wings it</i>. He says what he feels at the time, unplanned. His speeches are off the cuff; his responses to charges are counter-attacks, often ad hominem.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And that teaches us, the American people, that his policies and messages to dignitaries will be winged,
too. What Donald feels, Donald says—until he changes his mind and
undoes it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">NY Times pic of Donald Trump at his University</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The
one thing to look for in a leader is long-term perspective.
Someone who doesn’t wing it, but looks far into the future at potential ramifications of short-term steps, toward a lofty, worthwhile goal. Trump has no aspiration to a virtuous future more moral or dignified than the kind of ambiance he fosters now. He has
no affinity for any religion, and suspicious enmity toward Muslims. He only mentions God when trying to win over preachers and congregations.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> When someone peppers his comments with “Believe me,” you know you can’t. When someone criticizes him,
Donald automatically goes on the offensive with something more
rude and outrageous than what was lobbed at him.</span><span style="color: #1f4e79; font-family: "calibri" , sans-serif;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">There is one commonality in the responses of Trump admirers--they're based on <i>emotions</i>. If you're angry, if you're resentful, if you feel threatened by immigrants who could take your job, or who change the character of your neighborhood, you're driven by powerful emotions. And seldom can logic dissuade you.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I'm a psychologist, and this principle applies to behavior in every realm, marriages, work, and friendships: <i>Emotions trump logic.</i> I've been using that phrase for decades before Donald Trump made it so apropos.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Donald Trump fires up emotions, but <i>we</i> should not be led by emotions. The central Jewish prayer "the Shma" warns <i>not</i> to follow your heart, lest you're lured away from duty and nobility. Because emotions are compelling, my logical arguments probably won't</span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> sway my emailing friend away from Trump. But we risk severe peril if we collectively succumb to emotion and eschew the calm pursuit of civility in a long-term context.</span></div>
Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com38tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-43389246380278050972016-02-28T18:59:00.002-08:002023-08-23T17:47:18.910-07:00Why Tech Companies Can't Keep Good Women Employees<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_R_LvqeIOL5dDlKZZjUZU_9yBlNGijqsH6z9qn-jvj4DKfVfMaL2df5gAFHbww5ySOP4_XN-T8-QtXyWGcyLM4Tq9rcOtfy-3OIckUs1C14X1SLh2NxM1zzC0kAd9Z99JU4Hc_kbIVMG8/s1600/Nathalie+Miller.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_R_LvqeIOL5dDlKZZjUZU_9yBlNGijqsH6z9qn-jvj4DKfVfMaL2df5gAFHbww5ySOP4_XN-T8-QtXyWGcyLM4Tq9rcOtfy-3OIckUs1C14X1SLh2NxM1zzC0kAd9Z99JU4Hc_kbIVMG8/s1600/Nathalie+Miller.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif" style="font-size: xx-small;">Nathalie Miller pitches Doxa to a Venture Capitalist</span></td></tr>
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">My son recently got a job in development at a Tech firm, and one of the many praises he has for the company, SmartSheet, is that half of its staff are men and half women.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">"That's not the usual composition in a tech company," he adds, and indeed, a story on the cover of the New York Times Business section by Claire Cain Miller bears him out, <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/upshot/what-its-really-like-to-risk-it-all-in-silicon-valley.html?ref=todayspaper&_r=0">noting</a> that "30 percent of employees at big tech companies including Google, Facebook and Apple are women..."</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">The question is, "Why?" The NY Times <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/02/28/upshot/what-its-really-like-to-risk-it-all-in-silicon-valley.html?ref=todayspaper&_r=0">story</a> implies why, but you'll never find the answer stated explicitly, because it's completely politically incorrect--though hardly a secret.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">The reason is that women choose to divert attention to their families.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Nathalie Miller, now 34, went on the fast track to career success. Raised in Berkeley, California, she got a degree from Harvard, then moved to VietNam (she's of Vietnamese and European descent), starting a micro-finance nonprofit.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Returning to the US in 2013, she signed on as employee number 20 with Instacart, a grocery-delivery start-up, and watched it expand to 120 employees and 4,000 contractors within a year.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Then "a new employee told her that he had ranked the hottest women at the company, and she was No. 1. She reported the comment to managers, and the employee was fired the next day," reports the NY Times piece.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">This brought interest in matching female candidates with pro-women high-tech openings, leading her to leave Instacart, partner with an engineer, and create Doxa, a site that would collect data on companies, give job seekers online personality tests, and facilitate hiring. She hoped to increase awareness of issues important to women by including info on companies' policies.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">She built the company to "820 active users and 300 companies on a waiting list to be included," and so sought money to expand. About then she discovered that she and her husband were expecting their first child. She "plotted strategy," and planned to mention her impending parenthood only on a second meeting with potential investors, and then say "...I'm married to a man who will be a primary caregiver, and this is no different from investing in a man whose wife is pregnant."</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Nathalie Miller worked diligently to hone her pitch, refining her content and look with a mentor. She met with more than 40 venture capitalists, one a Ms. Yuan of Cowboy Ventures, who said of the software, "It enables companies to be responsive: 'Let's get a maternity policy because we don't want to be up on your platform without that.'" Still, none she approached chose to fund Doxa, and when her engineer partner got greater responsibility at this day job, Ms. Miller was faced with finding a new technical expert. </span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">The article details issues facing women in Silicon Valley, including differences in men's and women's presentation styles, and the way women are received by male execs and co-workers. It relates the difficulties of a start-up in the competitive tech world to the problems encountered by Doxa.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"> Ultimately, however, Nathalie Miller chose another worthwhile path: motherhood.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">"Ms. Miller's plan was to take a month off and get back to work," explains the NY Times story. "Then...she gave birth to a girl, Zadie Mai, and changed her mind. 'I feel a mixture of intense love and protectiveness,' she said. 'I want to hang out with the baby forever. There are my real physical needs and the physical dependence of the baby, all this stuff I didn't expect to be so consuming.'</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">...She decided to take at least six months off, doing some work from home after three or four months," the article notes. "Her husband, meanwhile, had found a full-time job in advertising."</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Yep. The setting might now be Silicon Valley, but the same switch of ambition happened to a generation before the millennials. Feminist baby boomers (like me), took advantage of new openings in a raft of fields, and yet found themselves pairing up, responding to biology and, when their babies came on the scene, falling in love. Whether it's hormones, or simply gaining the perspective that raising your own child is valuable and rewarding, women often opt out of promising careers at a certain stage. Is this really a surprise? Or a problem?</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">Companies may find that they can populate their tech staffs with competent, sharp women right out of college, who serve them eagerly and well for several years and then realize they've "been there, done that." These women know they've got a window of time to have children and raise families, and prefer to fully participate in that (just as they fully embraced their tech jobs) rather than take a month or even a few and then leave their babies in day care or with a nanny.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7du1cyh_zINlBDlf_mu1sk-hPQW00DWdkXci8ScOIuGjicGNIa-hIxH7FZp2nQc7Isx6Vt7LeW_hmUGdGh7FG5LIcETEV9_O4Y3VxVx9QxlYJOQLP_0aEaWk5Ii3fVlZKnbZ6sFbv20aNjk3ZnCV914WQN7NwdkNeKXx1V3_wp-_qFJJykIvV65et052U/s1600/David,%208-20-21,%20%206%20months.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1600" data-original-width="1200" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7du1cyh_zINlBDlf_mu1sk-hPQW00DWdkXci8ScOIuGjicGNIa-hIxH7FZp2nQc7Isx6Vt7LeW_hmUGdGh7FG5LIcETEV9_O4Y3VxVx9QxlYJOQLP_0aEaWk5Ii3fVlZKnbZ6sFbv20aNjk3ZnCV914WQN7NwdkNeKXx1V3_wp-_qFJJykIvV65et052U/s320/David,%208-20-21,%20%206%20months.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><br /><br /></span></div>
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">It's ironic that Nathalie Miller, whose start-up aimed to place women in responsible roles in companies sensitive to women's needs, stepped away from her own such position, lured by the sweet coos of her baby--but it's also laudable and not unusual. Silicon Valley and Seattle, where I live, are filled with growing tech companies snapping up capable college grads, but most of their hires aren't women in the mothering phase (who often carve out part-time or work-from-home alternatives), or older males or females.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif">I'll be interested to see the proportion of tech companies who keep their women employees throughout long careers. But I expect that many women launched in upward trajectories in these demanding enterprises will be attracted to a pause, the kind that brings a payoff far exceeding dollars and cents.</span><br />
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<span face=""arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif" style="font-size: xx-small;">Photo credits: Top, Jason Henry for the New York Times</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-64199038363197773032016-02-24T19:38:00.000-08:002016-02-24T22:57:16.226-08:00Why A Vote for Trump is a Vote for Hillary<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR_ptEuY2wB5hiKLIflVwMI1Nb-WzBJwTEaQKvAA-WJskNK8XD8tPg-wumIT56X8phSMfEeNOQ-kYVw42t6s_gHmw-o-Z_-_98ysfPcppdM0wPri3awONg-O89e2WTW2UYZIAP2hcxwqMS/s1600/Donald+Trump+brags.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR_ptEuY2wB5hiKLIflVwMI1Nb-WzBJwTEaQKvAA-WJskNK8XD8tPg-wumIT56X8phSMfEeNOQ-kYVw42t6s_gHmw-o-Z_-_98ysfPcppdM0wPri3awONg-O89e2WTW2UYZIAP2hcxwqMS/s320/Donald+Trump+brags.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Results from the Nevada GOP caucuses show Donald Trump with more than 45%, nearly twice the percentage vote of each of his runner-up rivals, Marco Rubio (24%) and Ted Cruz (21%).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">I do not understand how anyone could entrust our nation's future to one whose vocabulary consists of superlatives and digs.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">My husband is wrapping up writing a book on Providence in American history with a chapter on Abraham Lincoln. Trump and Lincoln--polar opposites in their characters and their perspectives of the presidency. I only wish we could produce a Lincoln-esque candidate with the humility to deferentially serve God and the United States people, driven and able to absorb the intricacies of history, international relations and domestic policy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Instead,GOP front-runner Donald Trump has demonstrated expertise in braggadocio. He exclaims in speeches that he did very well in school, is rich, very rich, and plans to use <i>The Art of the Deal </i>as his presidential guidebook. He emblazons his name in two-story letters on skyscrapers. He blithely insults women, Mexicans and his fellow candidates.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"> Jimmy Kimmel capsulized the Trump approach in a Dr. Seuss book parody that he read on-air to the approving <i>real</i> Donald.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Most voters share my incredulity with this Trump phenomenon. A January Gallup poll <a href="http://www.gallup.com/opinion/polling-matters/188936/trump-negative-image.aspx">found</a> 60% of Americans view Donald Trump unfavorably. (The same poll found 52% viewed Hillary unfavorably.) Who <i>are</i> these people supporting Trump? How come I've never met any?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But it's numbers that explain why a vote for Trump is a vote for Hillary: Even with her 52% unfavorable rating, Mrs. Clinton is amassing enough delegate votes to win the Democratic nomination. People who like Bernie just haven't come through in the primaries and caucuses--at the moment Hillary's sewn up 503 delegates, while Bernie earned a paltry 70. Apparently promising free stuff--like free college tuition, free preschool, and free medical care--isn't bringing in the delegates.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, as Hillary's totals rise, Bernie's support weakens, and we can assume she'll be the Democratic nominee, just as everyone always said.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">If Republicans divide on the other candidates and propel The Donald to nomination, his negatives "trump" Hillary's. More people are offended by Donald's racist-sounding anti-immigrant rants and his rudeness to Meghan Kelly than love his unplanned bursts of feeling and optimism. So, if he's the Republican nominee, the party shrivels as members defect and Independents cast their votes for the more predictable, and therefore least dangerous of the two offerings.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">It's great fun to watch debates where the frowning Comb-over King lets loose his assurances we'll be the best country and fix everything. But when it comes down to our safety and the delicate diplomacy needed in this fragile world, it's clear Americans just don't want an apprentice.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-58063091377889008672016-02-01T21:29:00.002-08:002016-02-02T00:05:18.944-08:00"Inequality" has nothing to do with divorce. But personal behavior does.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Sen. Rubio: Marriage is a route out of poverty</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So, I'm writing a book on divorce. Actually, it's on why you should NOT divorce. Therefore I collect articles on the subject, and one I was just filing was from last week's New York Times, titled <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/24/fashion/weddings/marriage-poverty-gop-political-divide.html">"Marriage, Poverty and the Political Divide."</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The piece suggests that economic inequality works against marriage. It discounts Sen. Marco Rubio's assertion that marriage can lift parents and children from poverty.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">But it doesn't get to the point--that the <i>values</i> of marriage shrink poverty rates, and it takes personal behavioral choices, not scrapping "inequality" with legal and policy change, to both support marriage and curb poverty. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Sen. Rubio bases this pro-marriage remark on a Heritage Foundation <a href="http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2012/09/marriage-americas-greatest-weapon-against-child-poverty">report</a> showing that 71% of families in poverty are headed by unmarried individuals. Of those who are <i>not </i>poor, 73% are headed by married couples. Married people are better off financially.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Makes sense. Certainly a couple pulling together can bring in more income than a single parent, and make what they have go further. Stay-at-home parents contribute by saving on day care and providing other services that make the family function.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">One would hope that an absent parent would contribute to his child's support. The trouble is, among the poor, this is <a href="http://www.census.gov/newsroom/press-releases/2015/cb15-16.html">infrequently the case</a>. In 2011, only half of <i>all </i>custodial parents had a child support agreement. Those with child support agreements actually received only 62% of what they were due. Of all custodial parents receiving child support, <a href="http://www.acf.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/programs/css/custodial_parents_and_child_support_receipt.pdf">24% were in poverty</a>. Thirty percent of custodial mothers live below the poverty line.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">So how does inequality shape a couple's future together? How does the fact someone else earns a lot more than you do harm your marriage? Not clear. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Writer Andrew L. Yarrow's article claims "Poorer Americans already aspire to marriage at similar or higher rates than their higher-income counterparts, according to a 2012 UCLA study. But when they do marry, their marriages are much more likely to end in divorce."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The piece neglects to mention that divorce not only correlates with poverty but also with <a href="http://www.bls.gov/emp/ep_chart_001.htm">education </a>of the partners. The more education partners have, the more likely a couple will stay together, <a href="http://www.heritage.org/research/reports/2012/09/marriage-americas-greatest-weapon-against-child-poverty">finds</a> the Heritage Foundation.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">And of course <a href="http://www.bls.gov/emp/ep_chart_001.htm">education is highly correlated with income</a>. In other words, those with the tenacity and ability to make it through college or advanced degrees more often have the tenacity and ability to both earn more money and form an enduring marriage. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp6pC5E9FdI5WVpPe6qq5gpysoDm9IWbPv6BOyYOCdqXfDPaiB16PuU9ym1PINKKa00Lu7CC1DDnz6zJxwWv1nL3SaTxIpRWvviYNs8HKbK2vxcoY5kf0WkANpzuC6Rbk3e_V4MOQWpKYz/s1600/inequality.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjp6pC5E9FdI5WVpPe6qq5gpysoDm9IWbPv6BOyYOCdqXfDPaiB16PuU9ym1PINKKa00Lu7CC1DDnz6zJxwWv1nL3SaTxIpRWvviYNs8HKbK2vxcoY5kf0WkANpzuC6Rbk3e_V4MOQWpKYz/s320/inequality.jpg" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">This isn't sinister "inequality,"a societal ill to be corrected by policy-makers. This is simple variation among individuals. Certain personal abilities, values and behaviors promote certain outcomes. It's less a governmental problem than a personal problem, a values and behavioral problem. Individuals who exhibit characteristics that promote happy marriage can much more often sustain happy marriages.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">The term "inequality" implies that something's askew, that everyone <i>would</i> have the same positive outcomes were it not for unfairness. Look at how the poor scramble to survive, while the rich buy $5,000 designer purses! If you believe that all individuals begin with the same potential, it follows that only factors imposed by luck or malice stand in anyone's way. And therefore laws and policies should remove those barriers. But if you look around, you notice that humans were <i>not</i> created with the same potentials, though we rightly offer everyone the same opportunities to maximize the potentials they have.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"Marriage is far from the magic bullet to end poverty that some conservatives claim," says Melissa Boteach of the Center for American Progress in the Times piece.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">Nobody says it's magic, but being in a marriage is one of those opportunities that allows us to maximize our best selves. Says W. Bradford Wilcox of the National Marriage Project,"Americans are more likely to realize the American dream if they get and stay married, and grow up in communities where marriage is stronger. Marriage fosters saving, facilitates economies of scale and encourages stability and family life, all things that are good for the average American's pocketbook."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">In other words, the same values that support marriage support financial success. So it seems Sen. Rubio is right--a shortcut out of poverty could be living the commitment and values marriage requires. </span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-3502481229825687742016-01-26T16:01:00.001-08:002016-01-26T16:01:55.821-08:00Decluttering: Life-Changing Magic for homes and the Presidential Race<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Donald Trump sparks joy</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, I'm one of the millions who read every word of Marie Kondo's <a href="http://tidyingup.com/">"method"</a> for home decluttering, <i>The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. </i>Tidy is one thing; pitching everything that doesn't send a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=no9fpKVXxCc">thrill up your leg</a>--her tack--is quite another.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ms. Kondo hails from Japan, a place where tiny homes are measured by the size of sleeping mats. She offers an anecdote about a client who lives in a 7-mat apartment. Not much room to keep stuff.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To use her method, you'd gather categories of possessions together, and handle each item in the pile to discover if it "sparks joy." I have breakfronts and closets filled with items that spark joy.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> When Ms. Kondo suggests that readers rid themselves of treasured souvenirs and mementos, the difference in our cultures becomes apparent. You'd think that in a land of ancestor-worship (Ms. Kondo notes she volunteered at a Shinto shrine), people would be sentimental about objects connecting them to the past. No; throw away the notes from your college class, playbills, ticket stubs and old photos.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Ruthlessly purge your closet for clothes seldom-worn or less-than-optimally flattering--roomy Saturday pants and comfy sleep-shirts included. And when you've proudly filled bags and bags of items to discard (she calls them "garbage" though you're supposed to thank each for its service before dumping), you're to fold what's left in origami squares, standing your shirts, socks and pants on end in rows in your drawers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That this has brought the 31-year-old author millions of fans, surprises me. That she's followed it up with another book does not. In New York last week on promotion, she earned a New York Times <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/24/fashion/marie-kondo-spark-joy.html?_r=0">story</a> that noted the KonMari Method has sparked a backlash, including a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Life-Changing-Magic-Not-Giving/dp/0316270725">book</a> called <i>"The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a (expletive)."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ms. Kondo's new book, called <i>Spark Joy</i>, offers detailed diagrams for clothes-folding. Given that her quick-read first book explains her entire home-order program, this second volume merely elaborates.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, there are grander lessons to learn here.</span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Marie Kondo</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;"> signs her new book, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">in New York Times photo</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The untidy field of presidential candidates needs some winnowing. The trouble is that Donald Trump sparks joy. He's the candidate people had in their living rooms saying "You're fired!", and holds the huuuge name blaring from the tops of conspicuous, fancy buildings. Part of his hair is orange; the part that falls into his face. The rest is a shade of platinum blond, a combination that grabs viewers' eyes in perpetual query. His permanent frown and bugle lips make people smile.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The fact Donald Trump is unrehearsed, unfettered and unbothered by his lack of deep understanding of world issues adds to his appeal. He sparks joy in audacity; some of his earlier sexist and racist comments (ask Megyn Kelley) were such shockers that fans just can't wait for his next offenses--all of which are eagerly excused.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the Democratic side, Bernie Sanders sparks joy. He <a href="https://berniesanders.com/issues/income-and-wealth-inequality/">promises</a> to provide for everyone from college students who get free tuition to construction workers earning some of the $1 trillion over 5 years he'd pay for roads and bridges He sparks joy by offering free universal preschool and child care, $5.5 billion for a youth jobs program, mandating employers give twelve weeks' paid family and medical leave, government health care for all, and a $15 minimum wage by 2020.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Joy! Joy! The 1% have plenty of wealth to cover it all; Bernie thinks they ought to pay their fair share. Right now, the top one percent--who are, after all,<i> one percent</i> of US taxpayers--pay nearly HALF the taxes collected (according to the non-partisan Tax Policy Center, <a href="http://www.cnbc.com/2015/04/13/top-1-pay-nearly-half-of-federal-income-taxes.html">reported by</a> CNBC). Why not make them pay a lot more to help so many? They have more than they need.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sparking joy is the criterion far too many Americans seem to embrace. But as primaries and party conventions approach, our political scene needs some decluttering. Using more serious criteria than for ditching <i>tchotchkes</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">How about sparking national security? Didn't the <a href="http://www.latimes.com/local/california/la-me-san-bernardino-shooting-terror-investigation-htmlstory.html">terrorism in San Bernardino</a> get anyone's attention? Illegal immigration was not the issue when Syed Rizwan Farook and Tashfeen Malik fired 150 rounds from five guns into a holiday party, killing 14 and wounding 22. Lucky their three wired pipe bombs didn't detonate.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why isn't national security the primary issue? What good is a $15 minimum wage when shopping malls are deserted due to fear of "soft target" attacks? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Republicans seem transfixed by a racist-sounding threat from Hispanics dashing across the US border. Do you really think our most concerning danger is from Mexicans Trump wants to stop with a huuuuge wall? Truth is, of the 1<a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/11/19/5-facts-about-illegal-immigration-in-the-u-s/">1 million estimated illegal immigrants</a> in the US, 5.6 million are from Mexico, a <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/11/20/what-we-know-about-illegal-immigration-from-mexico/"><i>drop</i> from the 6.7 million </a>here in 2007, when no wall was constructed. What reduced the number of illegals? Fewer economic opportunities <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Bernie Sanders, sparking joy for all but the 1%</span></td></tr>
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during our recession, and more serious enforcement of present laws.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We need candidate tidying-up based on focus on security, and mastery of the complicated intricacies of world politics. North Koreans test <a href="http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-35240012">hydrogen bombs</a>, as the murderous megalomaniac Vladimir Putin <a href="http://nypost.com/2016/01/24/vladimir-putin-will-only-become-more-murderous-and-dangerous/">continues oppressing </a>anyone in his imperialistic way. ISIS <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/dec/06/isis-expansion-libya-not-sign-of-weakness">expands its territory </a>in Iraq, Syria and Libya. <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/25/world/cameroon-boko-haram-attack/">Boco Haram</a>, <a href="http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/jan/21/obama-releases-al-qaedas-most-skilled-explosives-e/?page=all">Al Qaeda</a> and <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2016/01/25/politics/al-qaeda-al-nusra-isis-threat-experts/">al Nusra</a> bring parallel threats, all separate fires to extinguish. Expertise in international security should be the foremost qualification of our next president. If we're contending with encroaching terrorism, domestic pleasantries--free pre-school and college education, more family leave time--mean relatively little.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's clean up the presidential race and toss the candidates that spark joy in favor of those who can destroy terrorist and repressive threats. Our safety must be the first priority, and preserving the strength of our economy the second. It's not a time to replace capitalism with socialism but to bust barriers to earning more. We don't need </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">candidates with legal and ethical problems. We don't need a wall to protect us from Mexicans--but we do need strong efforts to keep terrorists from our midst. It's great to live in an orderly 7-mat home, but most important to put our fundamental priorities for security in order.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-13496603862528695312015-11-04T00:12:00.000-08:002015-11-04T00:15:39.469-08:00Fancy Mogadishu Hotel is like the setting for a novel--but Reality is more Gripping and Horrifying<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrwqmSLRjITjjz1TuPGkOawerMB0_OO-4GVArXfXDRTCYUd5LAImlKsUf6aXgYkZuN1k0UxHfkfHo6fe2wHFHqNzkdssds9IxltR8r09xw5ssQMdNFOULeZuj_-GZ_hJ8FzpRrGus-ojt7/s1600/Sahafi+Hotel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrwqmSLRjITjjz1TuPGkOawerMB0_OO-4GVArXfXDRTCYUd5LAImlKsUf6aXgYkZuN1k0UxHfkfHo6fe2wHFHqNzkdssds9IxltR8r09xw5ssQMdNFOULeZuj_-GZ_hJ8FzpRrGus-ojt7/s320/Sahafi+Hotel.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">The Sahafi Hotel, before the attack</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;">"<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px;">If there is one hotel everyone knows in Mogadishu, it is the Sahafi. Warlords and militants alike used to hang out and plot schemes in the lounge and courtyard while sipping grapefruit juice and pulling apart camel meat steaks."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px;">"...the hotel's owner, Abdirashid Ilgayte, used to welcome guests into his incense-scented office just off the hotel's entrance and regale them with stories of violence and intrigue from Somalia's darkest days..."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px;">Sounds like the beginning of a spy novel. You can almost inhale those succulent camel meat steaks pulling tenderly from the bone...</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px;">But instead of the enticing opening to a juicy intrigue, this is a NY Times <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/02/world/africa/-2015-11-02-world-africa-sahafi-shabab-militants-attack-hotel-somalia.html?_r=0">news story</a>, dated November 2, reporting the latest bloody attack by "one of Al Queda's most murderous offshoots," the Shabab, who rammed an exploding car through the hotel's front gate to allow entry to a cluster of terrorists who shot everyone in their path, then roamed the floors looking for more to kill. The murderers held the charred, rubble-filled hotel for hours; a second car explosion in front two hours after the first wounding or killing several more people, many of whom had come as reporters to the scene.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px;">The original rampage occurred at dawn; "By 11 am, African Union troops in Somalia, along with government forces, overpowered the attackers and shot them dead."</span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">The Sahafi Hotel, under siege</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px;">This is just the latest in a series of hotel attacks the Times calls "one of the hallmarks of the Shabab, who have killed scores in Mogadishu in recent years by overwhelming security guards at the gates and then sending in suicidal fighters." The article, by Mohammed Ibrahim and Jeffrey Gettleman, notes, "most of their victims have been fellow Somali Muslims."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px;">We in America listen to the World Series and plan our Sunday outings, while the rest of the world endures a reality we cannot fathom.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px;">"Mogadishu may be safer than it used to be but it is still not safe," the <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/11/02/world/africa/-2015-11-02-world-africa-sahafi-shabab-militants-attack-hotel-somalia.html?_r=0">news article</a> continues. "The Shabab once controlled much of the city, bull-whipping women and terrorizing the population by enforcing a harsh version of Islamic law." The writers observe that the Shabab "seemed to have perfected mass murder on the cheap, including an attack on a university in Kenya in April in which four young Shabab gunmen killed more than 140 people." <i>On the cheap!?</i></span></span><br />
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">Did you read this article? Are you as appalled and horrified as I am that this kind of ruthless extermination is almost reported ho-hum--just another instance of ubiquitous violence and murder to further an extremist vision of Islam aimed at the entire world? What are the churches and universities supporting BDS (boycot, divestment and sanctions) against Israel doing to combat this much more lethal and festering Islamism? Then again, it's easy to protest a democracy; not so simple to cut down terrorist extremists whose suicidal tactics prove their complete disregard for life.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; line-height: 23px;">I can pray; I can write blogs pointing out these atrocities. These actions seem lame given the enormity of the enemy and the virulent expansion of this deadly power. Then our privileged life happens and we toss the day's newspaper into the recycle bin.</span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 23px;"> </span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-56637080709602123232015-10-19T23:53:00.000-07:002015-10-20T00:20:42.658-07:00"Steve Jobs" Movie and the Democratic Folly to Tax the Rich<div class="MsoNormal">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Steve Fassbender (left) plays Steve Jobs (right)</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This week I saw the new </span><a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Jobs_(2015_film)" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">film</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> "Steve
Jobs," a bioptic starring Michael Fassbender in the title role, and Kate
Winslet as his loyal conscience, er, assistant, Joanna Hoffman. My film-critic
husband gave it three out of four stars, a rating with which I'd agree.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But just as important as its cinematic quality is what it
suggests about the Democrats' incessant bashing of "the wealthy."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Steve Jobs' character is so narcissistic, so sure he's right
and will change the course of the world, he flattens those around him in his
tire-treads. His assistant tries to assert herself, but consistently bends to
his dictates. His daughter reaches out for his affection-- with even a
desperate hug-- and receives only icicles. His friend Steve Wozniak, the
tech wizard behind Apple's operating systems, relentlessly begs
recognition for his co-workers' efforts, but Jobs, relishing his God-like
power, spurns him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The film is populated by the new "one-percent."
There's a whole Silicon Valley, and several other cities nationally, filled with start-up millionaires, website successes, and app-Princes. They're young,
they work incessantly, and they make big money for it. Additionally, they want
to keep that money.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-C4C4jm6yYuAi09Zu7tLRhr6P_Yb3wZPR0DDitEXZ4E490TewW9WGVBjWA0iY0LnZXz6O15W4RHsdM8NtH1frB9HaXNd3ly9vrjpMjzsEWfbeBHGeu2-ubiuo_GZPlJbsnLrIddyQj5Lf/s1600/dem-2016-debate.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-C4C4jm6yYuAi09Zu7tLRhr6P_Yb3wZPR0DDitEXZ4E490TewW9WGVBjWA0iY0LnZXz6O15W4RHsdM8NtH1frB9HaXNd3ly9vrjpMjzsEWfbeBHGeu2-ubiuo_GZPlJbsnLrIddyQj5Lf/s320/dem-2016-debate.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Bernie Sanders & Hillary Clinton want the wealthy's "fair share."</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Hillary Clinton, in her opening speech at the Democratic
debate, spoke of being "the grand-daughter of a factory worker" who
seeks to "even the odds." "Right now, the wealthy pay too little
and the middle class pays too much," she asserted, "So I have
specific recommendations about how we’re going to close those loopholes, make
it clear that the wealthy will have to pay their fair share..."<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One wonders if all those website, app and start-up
developers agree they're not "paying their <a href="http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2015/03/24/high-income-americans-pay-most-income-taxes-but-enough-to-be-fair/ft_15-03-23_taxesind/">fair
share.</a>" These young entrepreneurs are mostly products of elite
universities (or dropouts from them) where liberal,er, progressive politics are
assumed and promulgated as fact and truth. And yet they want the prize for
their labors. They're an important voter group that by their age should support
Democrats, but by their accomplishments and self-interest may not. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Ojodc7Y5ONLS8sS5UY_UPSpTeOwbogY5kQlErHCJbcgHQDvR4QLSokanT09sh0TjD942_xmaWonxxJc4WbegeWkuE4_wGLIxv_iEwLfCqVkE8L9o-F5TsSoDvh-Fit-BUC3vc4zL15Wy/s1600/Who+pays+taxes.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="347" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3Ojodc7Y5ONLS8sS5UY_UPSpTeOwbogY5kQlErHCJbcgHQDvR4QLSokanT09sh0TjD942_xmaWonxxJc4WbegeWkuE4_wGLIxv_iEwLfCqVkE8L9o-F5TsSoDvh-Fit-BUC3vc4zL15Wy/s400/Who+pays+taxes.png" width="400" /></a></div>
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<o:p><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This June, Verdant Labs came out with a </span><a href="http://verdantlabs.com/politics_of_professions/index.html" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ranking of
professions by party affiliation</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. No surprise: In academia you'll find </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">nine</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Democrats
per solitary Republican. In Internet technology, the Democrat to
Republican ratio is 3 to 1. In a post-2012 election </span><a href="http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/28/in-silicon-valley-technology-talent-gap-threatens-g-o-p-campaigns/?_r=0" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">analysis</a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">,
Nate Silver in the NY Times showed how the Silicon Valley is growing ever more
blue.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But will that turn around when Democratic candidates demand
successful techies pay much more to the government? After all, <a href="http://www.taxformcalculator.com/tax/250000.html">using standard
assumptions</a> in the State of California, someone earning $250,000 this
year forfeits nearly $100,000 of it to mandatory taxes and deductions. Bernie
Sanders <a href="http://thehill.com/blogs/ballot-box/presidential-races/257269-sanders-defends-plans-to-tax-wealthiest">says </a>tax
on the wealthy should be "a damned lot higher than it is now," and
approvingly cited rates of 91% under President Dwight Eisenhower. Will that
sound appealing to millennials amassing their fortunes?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's an excerpt from Sanders' <a href="http://www.cnbc.com/2015/05/26/10-questions-with-bernie-sanders.html">interview</a> this
May with John Harwood of CNBC:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Harwood: </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When you think about 90 percent, you don’t think
that’s obviously too high?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sanders: No. That’s not 90 percent of your income, you know?
That’s the marginal. I’m sure you have some really right-wing nut types, but
I’m not sure that every very wealthy person feels that it’s the worst thing in
the world for them to pay more in taxes, to be honest with you. I think you’ve
got a lot of millionaires saying, “You know what? I’ve made a whole lot of
money. I don’t want to see kids go hungry in America. Yeah, I’ll pay my fair
share.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaItrNPQmxNBgDXQ3tmoPfMjmvrXpkgjKsqcU1GYyquJRFWk7E6nskVYjFqLue9BXHaUDZOIugOJ_pcdEyK5xw9gFRaH7tQBtDS7LScNS2OgPycmi_FExlKvA-w3OR0WB6_XF55w35jvh-/s1600/Bernie+Sanders.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaItrNPQmxNBgDXQ3tmoPfMjmvrXpkgjKsqcU1GYyquJRFWk7E6nskVYjFqLue9BXHaUDZOIugOJ_pcdEyK5xw9gFRaH7tQBtDS7LScNS2OgPycmi_FExlKvA-w3OR0WB6_XF55w35jvh-/s1600/Bernie+Sanders.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Bernie Sanders wants to tax rich at a "damn lot higher rate."</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nobody wants to see kids go hungry in America. That's why
this year <a href="http://www.cnsnews.com/news/article/ali-meyer/food-stamp-beneficiaries-exceed-46000000-38-straight-months">46,674,000</a> people
receive Supplementary Nutrition Assistance Program funds from the government.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'm eager to discover how this generation of tech successes
places its divided loyalties in the upcoming election. Will they cleave to
their political histories and support Democrats, or will they guard their
wealth and quietly move toward Republicans?<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's my guess that Hillary and Bernie's cries of "tax
the rich!" will turn well-to-do techies decidedly fiscally conservative
(even as they remain socially liberal), driving this growing constituency right
into the moderate Republican camp.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Steve Jobs' politics weren't covered in the movie, though
it's said he supported Barack Obama. In the film, though, he uses his wealth to
wield power over his ex-girlfriend, the mother of his daughter. I can't imagine
work-obsessed tech millennials willingly parting with most of the fruits of
their labors (and giving up the power that comes with it) to solve
"inequality" for the masses. No, Bernie, you won't find many techies
saying "You know what? I've made a whole lot of money...and want to give
it to the government." Whomever gets the nomination will learn that fairly
quickly, I'm sure.</span></div>
Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-15639002280626008342015-10-11T01:18:00.000-07:002015-10-11T11:21:03.031-07:00Pop-Tarts and Junk Food: Parents Can't Stand that the School sells 'em<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: xx-small;">Pop-Tarts, aka "bad choice."</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /><br />On a town-wide internet forum called Next Door, a polite but passionate battle brewed this last week sparked by a mom who posted her disdain that our local middle school sells 'junk' like Pop-Tarts. The neighborhood fairly crackled with responses.<br /><br /> The appalled anti-sweets mom began the volley with, "Yes, I'm that mom that brings oranges as a snack instead of cupcakes. BORING, MOM! Well, I'm sorry but to me it's not a popularity contest, it's about our kids health."<br /><br /> She doesn't even approve of juice, dinging the Izze drink that one responder noted is only juice plus 10% water. The complainant, however, feels "Sugar is sugar. If you want some orange juice, eat an orange. It's not as good for you without the rest of the fruit."<br /><br />Then a registered dietitian with a doctorate in human nutrition replied that no food is inherently bad when integrated into a well-balanced diet, and consumed in moderation. She noted that yes, obesity has complicated causes, including genetics, exercise, other behaviors as well as diet--but it's not a problem in our own highly-educated community.<br /><br />She continued that many factors enter into a school's decision of what to offer, including cost and convenience. Of Pop-Tarts she says, "if you read the ingredients you'll see stuff that is good for us and stuff that the popular press has vilified without sufficient scientific evidence to support that vilification."<br /><br />But many well-meaning parents seem to have a visceral hatred for sugar. Offer children </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sugar, it seems, and children will take it, even when warned, educated and regulated by their folks about "good choices." It's wrong to offer kids "bad choices" because kids won't listen to the warning, educating and regulating they hear.<br /><br />The debate got so heated a fed-up reader rather crassly asked, "Are we now bitching about chocolate milk? I've decided to cut off my cable TV, because who needs 'The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' when I've got the real housewives here?"<br /><br /><br /> In this lovely town where I am fortunate to live, before dawn the sidewalks thump with the footfalls of runners in well-reviewed shoes, lighting their paths with headlamps. Bootcamp classes are full. Every park has tennis courts; clubs offer weight machines and television-topped treadmills. Kids engage in all sorts of sports--swim team, soccer, Little League, lacrosse.<br /><br />So the brouhaha about Pop Tarts, with parents arguing whether it is their or the school's responsibility to insure that children consume only healthy food during the day, seems a bit misplaced. On the other hand, every parent wants his child eating a healthy diet. It's the luckier parents who seem to care the loudest.<br /><br />But maybe this noisy discontent is beneficial. Certainly food choice is an important topic. Sooner or later, at least by high school, children will spend money on snacks without mom's protection. There will be Pop-Tarts. There will be junk food--to buy, avoid or ignore.<br /><br />As a kid, in my family, dinners were home-made "square meals" with meat, salad, starch. I never heard the term "unhealthy choices"--largely because convenience food was more expensive than mom-cooked food. We drank (whole) milk or water and never juice, soda or chocolate milk. The usual dessert was fruit. I'd ask, "what's for 'dez'?" and my mom replied "fruit" to my predicable groan. But that was the choice--fruit or nothing. We did not eat ice cream or cake or candy; it just wasn't there.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I entered middle school, I was astonished to see a snack corner selling Jujubes, Sno-Caps, Good and Plenty, Hershey Bars. Things I'd only seen at movie theaters in glass cases. Did I find them irresistible? They seemed like a waste of money, of which I had very little.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />In the morning break, which was called "Nutrition," you could get a hunk of bread slathered in garlic butter; fifteen cents bought a spiral cinnamon bun sticky with sugar, the size of a baseball glove. These "bad choices" never beckoned because no one labeled them, so I just didn't care.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I got to high school, I became friends with a girl whose (overweight) parents bought "babka" at the local bakery. That was a gooey, rich confection that you could peel apart in layers of moist chocolate. This friend had soda in her refrigerator. She had potato chips in the pantry. All these were foods I'd seldom seen, much less had easily available.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />Did I eat them when I was sleeping over at my friend's house? A little, but they never really attracted me. I don't like carbonation. I loved babka but the sicky-sweet of more than one piece tasted yukky.<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNstQE_6ha1mL5pJxRkGVsOJ-jiCBRn9MJGGfsP0xjKXh2uxByByzgweiCd6Ql-1SJkYHzt64wJoX4uDfzjm_JGtdlatX20mR-zo2bvZdMpXwVfu2BO2ob8S6UbJEZmGAMFxbnlSo9QwaM/s1600/babka.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="267" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNstQE_6ha1mL5pJxRkGVsOJ-jiCBRn9MJGGfsP0xjKXh2uxByByzgweiCd6Ql-1SJkYHzt64wJoX4uDfzjm_JGtdlatX20mR-zo2bvZdMpXwVfu2BO2ob8S6UbJEZmGAMFxbnlSo9QwaM/s320/babka.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">This is chocolate babka. Incredibly yummy.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /> What that suggests is that each home has an eating culture that creates habits and comfort zones. All these worried parents in my town reveal a lack of confidence in their own influence as molders of their children and more importantly, as good examples.<br /><br /> Now, my children keep kosher and vegetarian, neither of which protects from "bad choices" or an unbalanced diet. But eating shellfish, just like munching candy during my youth, is just "not something we do."</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> For many years, I've taught workshops about how naturally thin people eat. It's simple: eat when you're hungry, listen to your body and get exactly what you want, enjoy it to the fullest, and stop when satisfied.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If we teach our kids to ignore their body's messages and to consider candy and soda and Pop Tarts forbidden, then we increase their allure. Obesity became a severe problem not because cheap junk food proliferated as much as the fact that people bought it, over-riding their bodies' signals. Of course, the problem of obesity is complex, but fostering a culture of honest eating--that is, an "eat to live," not "live to eat" mindset--lets individuals respond to their own bodies' needs rather than rely on some nutritionist or diet guru or finger-wagging neighbor.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-35721122835908097212015-08-28T00:33:00.001-07:002015-08-28T00:33:19.981-07:00Lions and Tigers and Bears--at Northwest Trek, not a Zoo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfKZv4_7oKfs-U7wE2c2ATzxkoWrJcricV8xd8cMIyIfykZEcYQSW70CD0QZBMpsWhEtREkAI0A1DApTe7-NsaU7TA6zb2IOAJ3UtFZG7fZIshhRu04YiWubzo54Txym4wEVC6OeAwJIaT/s1600/buffalo+mom+and+baby-001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="305" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgfKZv4_7oKfs-U7wE2c2ATzxkoWrJcricV8xd8cMIyIfykZEcYQSW70CD0QZBMpsWhEtREkAI0A1DApTe7-NsaU7TA6zb2IOAJ3UtFZG7fZIshhRu04YiWubzo54Txym4wEVC6OeAwJIaT/s320/buffalo+mom+and+baby-001.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My family recently took a field trip to Northwest Trek. An odd name for a wild animal park where the tourists are confined and the animals roam free.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's located not far from Mt. Rainier, about an hour and a half's drive from Seattle. Excitement built as we left the city and eased onto roadways through pastures and firs, and finally, the forest.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Northwest Trek immediately welcomes with a gentle, wholesome atmosphere. Staffed with fresh-faced animal lovers rather than "cast-members" or salespeople, it's about wildlife, not providing wild life. There's a grassy picnic area for unfurling your own blanket, no regular restaurants. The view is breathtaking Cascade foothills, looming Douglas Fir, a curvy lake with the descriptive name, "Horseshoe."</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgyNFB5xyoHKz0nXAIPFEvFQ01nuf18JDG5AoiP-RdGbQIyTIP7lbVlABbUquKT3mEYp3BqhQYVNzDg1maWkQROZycrypZlStBMLmqSOjNTC0eLE0OJ3IZKsdQ7tj45Dmqnb2HJp0PLyvD/s1600/Will+the+real+barn+owl+pair+please+flap+your+wings.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgyNFB5xyoHKz0nXAIPFEvFQ01nuf18JDG5AoiP-RdGbQIyTIP7lbVlABbUquKT3mEYp3BqhQYVNzDg1maWkQROZycrypZlStBMLmqSOjNTC0eLE0OJ3IZKsdQ7tj45Dmqnb2HJp0PLyvD/s320/Will+the+real+barn+owl+pair+please+flap+your+wings.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You board a tram that's not on a track, open on all sides (except the top--this is the Northwest, and rain is expected), and even parents feel like it's a class outing. The young guide inquisitively searches for movement along the road. We slow to a plod as a mama moose, trailed closely by her baby, saunters in front of the tram. After they wander into a wood, we see a herd of long-horned sheep lying in the shade. Peculiar bumps poke from a muddy pond as we pass--bull frogs that each year multiply so freely that soon they'll unbalance the habitat. Over a clearing of bleached grass we find where the buffalo play--or rather, lie around, several generations together. Our tram comes so close that if we violated the no-hands-out rule, we might have stroked them.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX-L2FAr-F3WuT9RZ1mT4qyM1dq1pM8TERBLhSU7_dbXBaHj9hPK3tm9yDoGhSYgM-4zFtiRPCvZPo0DirV90frLDGdcpGXvhiso7pgj01yBxmcjIyCuTIGAPU0qKv7rUQoM4Eq5mNnQbO/s1600/Richelle+took+this+of+M+and+me+on+tram.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiX-L2FAr-F3WuT9RZ1mT4qyM1dq1pM8TERBLhSU7_dbXBaHj9hPK3tm9yDoGhSYgM-4zFtiRPCvZPo0DirV90frLDGdcpGXvhiso7pgj01yBxmcjIyCuTIGAPU0qKv7rUQoM4Eq5mNnQbO/s320/Richelle+took+this+of+M+and+me+on+tram.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next to us, on an embankment at eye level, a white mountain goat returns our stares. Later, some resting reindeer whose antlers impossibly weight their heads barely acknowledge our movement just a few yards from their siestas.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The deer and the antelope did play, though not together. The 435 acres of free-range area lets them live pretty much predator-free. On the perfect-temperature day we visited, we saw no animal conflict. White trumpeter swans floated next to colorful ducks on a serene pond; rams sat contentedly together. So droll to live in harmony.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Northwest Trek does have its zoo-ish aspects. Wild cats have enclosed areas, as do certain fowl, like the barn owls perched waxen-like in a faux barn. The Snowy Owl appeared wise, peering out from a small structure that might have been its library.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiehFNSaBsTQgEQqbzuE9ZZtOeLnY1KBkq27FjqyEqDfsCd9SFZ1agN0gHP8RqN9_cSJgdcnWLn9QaIXuuXbdICyPnJN2ro8H_xpgP66a8g0EXsbmTwbsvPqQtbWLdjZXQD-puBugp7WoVy/s1600/long+pomade+antlers%2521.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiehFNSaBsTQgEQqbzuE9ZZtOeLnY1KBkq27FjqyEqDfsCd9SFZ1agN0gHP8RqN9_cSJgdcnWLn9QaIXuuXbdICyPnJN2ro8H_xpgP66a8g0EXsbmTwbsvPqQtbWLdjZXQD-puBugp7WoVy/s320/long+pomade+antlers%2521.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unlike the Washington DC National Zoo that we visited recently, the forest setting felt relaxed. A huge area with viewing huts on opposite sides contained bears that managed to elude my zoom lens other than one who revealed his, um, lumberingly large backside. And there were the otters and beavers and skunks and porcupines, and all the Northwestern creatures at which you wouldn't normally marvel.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In Yiddish, you'd call Northwest Trek "haimish," kind of family-style, accessible, easy to embrace.Though you can't actually embrace the wild critters here, the emphasis </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc-01SXFENW9n5aKtLk3OWZvbKjH28jut4FYn-JvjxeHTbGEBZWj0rRifirROH99ZHxt3WzoNXdp92Q-aRZKND8NWcvo0b2cWvcFaj7w3S_QOyf6l3KefSrzTxPU5f48iLKEn9LmbPJnrn/s1600/buffalo+laze+by+the+side+of+the+road-001.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc-01SXFENW9n5aKtLk3OWZvbKjH28jut4FYn-JvjxeHTbGEBZWj0rRifirROH99ZHxt3WzoNXdp92Q-aRZKND8NWcvo0b2cWvcFaj7w3S_QOyf6l3KefSrzTxPU5f48iLKEn9LmbPJnrn/s320/buffalo+laze+by+the+side+of+the+road-001.JPG" width="320" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">is on them, not on providing humans with a selflie-stick moment. After the tram-ride, we enjoyed a sandwiches-from-home picnic, and then headed for an adjacent un-plugged-in adventure--an aerial obstacle course, with tree-platform stations connecting rope bridges, tightrope, ziplines and wood-slat walks that challenged confidence and courage.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP5Q5gmMu1LcEf6Us7GkCvU58zU5k5HXD_xDQ1srFFKVHVTLeAhiSqHv1NdIZYjeZ577GO0pzjf4ANHNMiE050Y7STgX2EprW52MmyP2h2MmRBvAuhStM562l-hbJrT4NtIy6olkfq12va/s1600/me+zipping+in+the+test+course.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP5Q5gmMu1LcEf6Us7GkCvU58zU5k5HXD_xDQ1srFFKVHVTLeAhiSqHv1NdIZYjeZ577GO0pzjf4ANHNMiE050Y7STgX2EprW52MmyP2h2MmRBvAuhStM562l-hbJrT4NtIy6olkfq12va/s320/me+zipping+in+the+test+course.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Our best family memories are on days like that, when we can together encounter amazements of God's world in person, not on a screen. The perfect way to admire the beauty of the Northwest with enough education and enlightenment to take home as a souvenir.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-7313519124479456592015-07-23T13:14:00.001-07:002015-07-23T13:14:54.146-07:00The Weirdest Government-form Instruction Ever<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiidg7g6D0QeIA3-jvdxYK0vW0DygZ69iOIF4kY-8MrsqNEMPNyiBQ3A9UJbsg7iDz05JfouzkeqJokPLDrOuF3G51goF3u4iZYCYMMo7Sg8rZajazvm44pZl6skQFzlXvpC6Z6xH6CCG39/s1600/Summons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="480" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiidg7g6D0QeIA3-jvdxYK0vW0DygZ69iOIF4kY-8MrsqNEMPNyiBQ3A9UJbsg7iDz05JfouzkeqJokPLDrOuF3G51goF3u4iZYCYMMo7Sg8rZajazvm44pZl6skQFzlXvpC6Z6xH6CCG39/s640/Summons.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I admit I wasn't swelling with civic pride when I received a summons for jury duty. I'd served on a jury less than three years ago, and don't have time now for the interruption, especially for the princely wage of $10 per day. Given that the President wants to raise the minimum to $15 per <i>hour,</i> he might first start by a campaign to pay jurors at least that per <i>day</i>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But OK, it's a privilege to serve on a jury; we should indeed be thrilled when randomly selected (again) to support our fair and uncorrupted courts system, as well as appreciate the reminder that we live in a just and law-governed land. I even enjoyed serving, last time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, this time the date I was called to appear is the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur. At least it's not an obscure holiday, like the last day of Passover, Shavuot or Shemini Atseret, all biblically-mandated festivals when normal activity is forbidden. So I set about returning my summons with a request for deferral.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The summons is a single sheet, and to return it, you fold and mail. Except that in bold-faced type, under the return address, were the following stern instructions: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">"Fold in half top portion with this side facing out, sealed with two 1" pieces of tape at the top within 1" of the lead and trail edges OR within 1" of the lead and trail edges within 1" from the top"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There was no period at the end of the command, and only the single comma, leaving unclear whether I should fold in half the top portion, or to fold in the half-top portion, both of which would have been impossible with that side facing out.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> I did understand I was to seal with two one-inch pieces of tape, though I was left adrift as to type of tape (masking? duct? Scotch?) as well as whether one-inch was to be tape width or breadth--or need the pieces be square?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Most baffling were the "lead and trail edges." I'd never heard the terms before, so I whipped out my trusty Webster's New World Dictionary of the American Language, the one that got me through high school, college, and eight years of graduate school (yes, I have a Ph.D, which leaves me unequipped to return government forms). Despite twelve definitions for the word "lead" pronounced "leed," and four for "lead" pronounced "led," nothing referred to paper or an edge or a trail.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dictionary.com has <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/lead">56 definitions</a> of "lead," (pronounced "leed") none of which have to do with paper, edge or trail. Ditto for <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/trail?s=t">"Trail.</a>"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, I asked Mr. Google to "Define 'lead and trail edge'". No definition was offered, even drilling five pages of responses deep. One promising link said "Lead and trail edge haze!!" which accurately described my mental state, but no, the site was a professional printing forum, gleaned from its name, <a href="http://keepitprinting.com/v-web/bulletin/bb/viewtopic.php?p=1220&sid=e4ca17017cb4b5c1b52ff517f282e989">"Keepitprinting.com."</a></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Google did provide me with some images when I refined my search to "What are 'lead and trail edges'?" I'm not sure, but think they were diagrams of the insides of printers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The last resort was to phone the court. I was prepared for a long triage, to "oprime numero uno," and then endure interminable Barry Manilow oldies looped with assurances about how much they value my call. To my delight, the wait was short, and a seemingly competent woman answered.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I explained my confusion about the envelope command, and asked her to please define "lead and trail." She got out the form, read it, and...started laughing. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of course, by then, I was a bit whacko and queried on. Can I use patterned duct tape? Where is the period at the end of the instruction? What if the one-inch tape is greater than one-inch from the lead? What about from the trail?</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She did not know what "lead and trail" are. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She said to just secure the sheet so it doesn't flop open in the mail, and no punishment would ensue should I egregiously mistape. She wondered aloud who she might approach to clarify this intimidating but nonsensical instruction.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I sense frustration in the making. Trying to simplify government gobble-de-gook is a losing battle, given that bureaucrats and legislators exist for the purpose of <i>creating</i> gobble-de-gook.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perhaps my befuddlement could have be avoided if response was possible via website. The Superior Court in which I served previously had such a site; this District Court does not. But then again, government employees write the content of websites, too.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-16133254789400376712015-06-26T15:06:00.001-07:002015-06-28T11:55:45.292-07:00Supreme Court Redefines "Marriage" as "Love" <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRhKRwTLhrk5hFL0YW-yt-_0Xc3psiW7N1zT7q9kAJLrUzI0HBUkY4zDZosXBWZYw8MRh4KUE1vUieVLFKHTcveXUl-WpcO2Z6iSY0U7pluHgx9mEygWBqCTjMZGwHU-DM9z878soEZ1a5/s1600/gay+flags+on+supreme+court+gay+marriage.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRhKRwTLhrk5hFL0YW-yt-_0Xc3psiW7N1zT7q9kAJLrUzI0HBUkY4zDZosXBWZYw8MRh4KUE1vUieVLFKHTcveXUl-WpcO2Z6iSY0U7pluHgx9mEygWBqCTjMZGwHU-DM9z878soEZ1a5/s320/gay+flags+on+supreme+court+gay+marriage.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Celebrating Supreme Court ruling on marriage</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">President Obana was so romantic when <a href="http://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2015/jun/26/obama-gay-marriage-speech-victory-for-america">commenting</a> on the Supreme Court <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/gay-marriage-and-other-major-rulings-at-the-supreme-court/2015/06/25/ef75a120-1b6d-11e5-bd7f-4611a60dd8e5_story.html">5-4 ruling</a> that same-sex marriage be permitted nationally. "Love is Love," he declared, in a puzzling statement of the obvious.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Yes, love is love. but it is not marriage, though the president implied that's so. Do all people who deeply love each other naturally want to marry?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The nursery rhyme that "love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage" is as outdated as the horse and carriage. Nowadays <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/govbeat/wp/2014/09/15/for-the-first-time-there-are-more-single-american-adults-than-married-ones-and-heres-where-they-live/">more Americans are single than married.</a> Many live together; many just hook up. Others cultivate relationships for years but don't marry. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love is love. It is a feeling. It can waver and wane and disappear. More marriages based on how spouses feel will mean more divorces, and divorce is inevitably sad, divisive and, when children are involved, becomes difficult, uncomfortable and complicated.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Redefining institutions is a dangerous business. Changing an institution into a feeling is absurd, but it has happened. Marriage, in every culture, through all time, was the setting designated as the procreative, child-rearing core of societies. Without the purpose of man and woman creating offspring that they together raise, marriage would not have endured. Why would the world's major religions sanctify--set aside--marriage as a glorified institution if societies have no stake in its welfare? Marriage would have faded or morphed thousands of years before if it was defined as a declaration of feelings.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivrIulcs4QjCstIr2-UHdvHlyJyhfArh5J562tgg-ZpM_kZVqUUfIzJ9S_VV7elf-cCFHTlBD0EBYSoiqio5jaQE_Ppk4RGDfjPZgmGNH5pnOmMOCLm3pq_bFazZG63o6t_6ytfEfXY_zK/s1600/Obama+love+is+love.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="191" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivrIulcs4QjCstIr2-UHdvHlyJyhfArh5J562tgg-ZpM_kZVqUUfIzJ9S_VV7elf-cCFHTlBD0EBYSoiqio5jaQE_Ppk4RGDfjPZgmGNH5pnOmMOCLm3pq_bFazZG63o6t_6ytfEfXY_zK/s320/Obama+love+is+love.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Pres. Obama declaring "love is love," meaning 'love is marriage.'</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> But now that the Supreme Court has decided love is the legally recognized criterion for marriage, they're going to have a tough time upholding other criteria. Triplet sisters with a close bond certainly deserve to marry as much as two strangers! And should they decide to obtain sperm and become pregnant, isn't it nicer for a child to have THREE mothers rather than merely two? Doesn't a child deserve more legally recognized love, rather than less?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love is love, and now it's marriage. Love comes in many different types, none more than a mother for her child. I know many who claim their mothers are their best friends. That bond cannot be surpassed; who is to say it is less permanent than those of the same generation? Children should be able to marry their mothers. At age 4, my son Danny pledged to marry me. I remain solidly married to his father and Danny chose a brilliant wife, but we continue our commitment to each other, so why not marriage? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love is love, so if someone currently married to another--or others--finds a willing person to add to his/her constellation of love, then clearly under the new definition, he should not be denied marriage. Isn't it better for children if Mom and Dad or Moms and Dads, remain together? Why should the government <i>require</i> divorce? Isn't that <i>bad</i> for children? Isn't divorce economically disruptive? Love is love. How dare the government limit one's love to just one other person</span>?<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ahh, but government makes many inconsistent laws. When logic dictates one thing, legislators often ignore it. Love is marriage for gay and straight unrelated couples</span>. <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Love as marriage is forbidden if you love too many people, or love family members or have no divorce.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are many ways to show respect for those with all sexual orientations. Government does not impede private relationships between people. But like every other culture at every other time, our nation retains a stake in children being born and raised in the environment</span> <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">that offers them the best opportunity to thrive. That is the only relationship that should be encouraged. Every person is worthy of respect, but not every relationship is worthy of marriage.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The American version of the English language is confused when love is defined as marriage and marriage defined as love. Feelings make poor basis for reliability and predictability, and so with this change, all marriages become tougher to uphold and defend.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-20935255840411641002015-06-23T20:03:00.000-07:002015-06-24T21:00:12.586-07:00Making Much of Womanhood: Caitlyn, Hillary and Women Who Ran for President<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDuBvRwbOVcU5rSnuRYhcwfk11_yxRd4j26iWmkNhaxm0LnFa7YpwN5PZN8R2xuce8YCrPWxxussebxAmau9xgpGqng8jCFE9w05VC-6KZ_x8p0MUS5CqrbM-RD5t9gcbnRiQ-21YdnYJu/s1600/20150616_hillary_clinton_gty_1160_956x519.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDuBvRwbOVcU5rSnuRYhcwfk11_yxRd4j26iWmkNhaxm0LnFa7YpwN5PZN8R2xuce8YCrPWxxussebxAmau9xgpGqng8jCFE9w05VC-6KZ_x8p0MUS5CqrbM-RD5t9gcbnRiQ-21YdnYJu/s200/20150616_hillary_clinton_gty_1160_956x519.jpg" width="196" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Hillary: Too late to be the first</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><a href="http://www.pressreader.com/usa/usa-today-international-edition/20150616/281509339815583/TextView">Headline</a> in USA Today, "Clinton: Gender a factor in campaign." Hillary makes it such because that's the main thing she's got going for her, what with those <a href="http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/hillary-clintons-fifteen-biggest-scandals/article/2566193">nasty fails </a>in her background--a <a href="http://nypost.com/2015/06/13/clinton-cash-author-on-all-the-questions-hillary-wont-answer/">foundation that takes money</a> for State Department favors, four dead people in <a href="http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2015/06/hillary-clinton-2016-benghazi-118992.html#.VX9VLUZsFe8">Benghazi</a>, and, perhaps most fascinating, a husband who can't keep his <a href="http://nypost.com/2015/02/14/bill-clintons-libido-threatens-to-derail-hillary-again/">hands off women</a>, even when he's their superior, even when he's in the most hallowed space in the the country, even when impeached for lying about it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">There's all that stuff and lots more, so the New York Times shifts <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/politics/first-draft/2015/06/05/marco-rubio-and-his-wife-cited-17-times-for-traffic-infractions-2/">its disdain</a> to the wife of Republican candidate Marco Rubio's thirteen traffic tickets over the last 18 years, including one for going 23 miles per hour in a school zone. Mrs. Rubio is a woman, by the way, so her stints in traffic school must be news. Her husband, a comparatively sedate driver, over those years received four citations, two of which were dismissed. Unlike Mrs. Clinton, who last year <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-politics/wp/2014/01/27/hillary-clinton-last-time-i-drove-was-1996/">admitted</a> she has not driven a car since 1996.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXh_O2WQ8zbOx6g97xw9WTKgE8J79Xz0SiYeaD0ALVhB8hd94vAVKJ6K-X5LJ35psDE25B-BjGDxa8NNZoi7nHGmThcNUkAw_Awu_NKhRdP6XWI4gqzW0ozw6QLTuB7ZlL64fss_sW6bVX/s1600/caitlyn-jenner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXh_O2WQ8zbOx6g97xw9WTKgE8J79Xz0SiYeaD0ALVhB8hd94vAVKJ6K-X5LJ35psDE25B-BjGDxa8NNZoi7nHGmThcNUkAw_Awu_NKhRdP6XWI4gqzW0ozw6QLTuB7ZlL64fss_sW6bVX/s320/caitlyn-jenner.jpg" width="217" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Caitlyn Jenner: So shocking you have to look</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Female gender is hot enough that <a href="http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/caitlyn-jenner-bruce-cover-annie-leibovitz">Vanity Fair</a> used it to <a href="http://auditedmedia.com/news/research-and-data/top-25-us-consumer-magazines-for-june-2014/">resuscitate</a> its readership by sensationalizing poor <a href="http://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2015/06/caitlyn-jenner-photos-interview-buzz-bissinger">Caitlyn </a>aka Bruce Jenner, dressing her in bust-popping corsets and revealing the extensive <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/beverly-hills-doctors-transformed-caityln-jenner-article-1.2252114">plastic surgery </a>the 65-year-old endured to femininze her features. The skanky layout gave the issue of gender steam, letting Mrs. Clinton highlight something more titillating than issues facing the country.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Being a woman, being a man wanting to be a woman, admitting to <a href="http://www.people.com/article/hillary-clinton-talks-going-gray-white-house-dyes-hair">"coloring my hair for years</a>" and learning how to apply eye-liner (<a href="http://www.vanityfair.com/style/2015/06/exclusive-interviews-and-a-behind-the-scene-look-at-v-f-s-cover-queen-caitlyn-jenner-s-beauty-prep-with-the-chosen-glam-squad-of-mark-carrasquillo-oribe-and-deborah-lippmann">Caitlyn used</a> Tom Ford Eye-Defining Pen)--these are topics gaining attention. They inspire the public to purchase magazines and, Hillary hopes, cheer at her rallies.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Hillary wants to capitalize on her gender because she's aware it's "trending."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">While repeating that she's a woman, she'll conveniently forget to remind us of the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_female_United_States_presidential_and_vice-presidential_candidates">more than thirty-five<i> other</i> women</a> who sought the presidency before her, including candidates in her own party. Notably, Hillary won't mention a black congresswoman who represented Brooklyn, New York for seven terms, from 1969 to 1983, <a href="http://history.house.gov/People/Listing/C/CHISHOLM,-Shirley-Anita-%28C000371%29/">Shirley Chisholm</a>, whose slogan and book were <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Unbought-Unbossed-Expanded-Anniversary-Edition/dp/098005902X">"unbought and unbossed."</a></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6LQz9f10Dv-5EkgpvkIPZdXOfCpCE5bQfnggzwLc5oZNjMzJ78PV-L4LHzhcQnKlRVobwTQpeyplTd5Q-XRLpk8eElPWIEbaPFmgPdyi1oIo5kLzN2rxn83T5bzGlAbk34sIjN5ecVxqk/s1600/chisholm-1972.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6LQz9f10Dv-5EkgpvkIPZdXOfCpCE5bQfnggzwLc5oZNjMzJ78PV-L4LHzhcQnKlRVobwTQpeyplTd5Q-XRLpk8eElPWIEbaPFmgPdyi1oIo5kLzN2rxn83T5bzGlAbk34sIjN5ecVxqk/s320/chisholm-1972.jpg" width="287" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rep. Chisholm ran for the Democratic nomination for president in 1972 (when Hillary and Bill were in Yale law school with my husband), and with only $300,000 at her campaign's disposal, won 152 first-ballot votes for the nomination. Rep. Chisholm was direct, articulate and feisty, and earned as much comment about her gender as her race.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">"When I ran for the Congress, when I ran for president, I met more discrimination as a woman than for being black. Men are men," she reflected in 1982, on her way to teach at Mt. Holyoke College (as <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/03/obituaries/shirley-chisholm-unbossedpioneer-in-congress-is-dead-at-80.html">quoted</a> in her New York Times obituary of January, 2005).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Rep. Chisholm wasn't the first woman in recent memory to earn delegate votes at a major party's national convention. The Republicans did it first in 1964, with <a href="http://www.senate.gov/artandhistory/history/minute/First_Woman_Both_Houses.htm">Margaret Chase Smith</a>, the first woman to serve in both the House and the Senate, representing Maine for 32 years. She always emphasized her competence over her gender. <span style="font-size: small;">When asked upon announcing her presidential candidacy if she expected the continued support of Democratic women, <a href="http://www.c-span.org/video/?325362-1/1964-margaret-chase-smith-presidential-campaign-announcement">she answered,</a> "I take the position that women Democrats and Republicans are not supporting a woman because she is a woman. I think the women of this country are looking for qualified candidates..."</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxbXt7Y5YMMQPdPxwrPY0gdw-mJqp1Vb2851OPmYWoLxDQjv4MY7UbVT8awAZaNnIrPQGPSX9Ao2hyUY420O-z-AMxHQgIWqvQ25R7nypodOYJ1Ul0W1qXtMUeTiuLahEQu3JUzVI-lzpT/s1600/Smithprez.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxbXt7Y5YMMQPdPxwrPY0gdw-mJqp1Vb2851OPmYWoLxDQjv4MY7UbVT8awAZaNnIrPQGPSX9Ao2hyUY420O-z-AMxHQgIWqvQ25R7nypodOYJ1Ul0W1qXtMUeTiuLahEQu3JUzVI-lzpT/s1600/Smithprez.jpg" /></a></span></div>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext"> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Sen. Smith founded the women's divisions of both the Coast Guard and the Marines, and <span style="font-size: small;">in</span> 1950 was the first Republican to publicly denounce Joseph McCarthy's anti-Communism tactics in her <a href="http://www.mcslibrary.org/program/library/declaration.htm">"Declaration of Conscience"</a> speech, in which she said, "<span style="color: black; font-size: small;">I speak as a Republican, I speak as a woman. I speak as a United States Senator. I speak as an American." In that ascending order.</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext">This contrasts with Mrs. Clinton's spotlight on her sex. In its coverage of her campaign reboot speech a few days ago, the New York Times <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/14/us/hillary-clinton-attacks-republican-economic-policies-in-roosevelt-island-speech.html">noted,</a> "</span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext">...it was clear that Mrs. Clinton will make gender more
central to her campaign this time. In her closing remarks, she called
for a country 'where a father can tell his daughter yes, you can be
anything you want to be, even president of the United States.'” Earth to Hillary: fathers <i>and mothers </i>have been doing that for two generations now.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext">She must also grapple with the issue of her advanced age, a problem Sen. Smith could not surmount, even though she would have been three years <i>younger</i> than Mrs. Clinton, who if elected will take office at age 69. To deflect age questions, Mrs. Clinton shifts focus back to her gender, saying in her <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/14/us/hillary-clinton-attacks-republican-economic-policies-in-roosevelt-island-speech.html">reboot speech,</a> </span></span></span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext">“I may not be the
youngest candidate in this race, but I will be the youngest woman
president in the history of the United States.”</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7o__YANeSD__y9Azco6MC-l_2TSNaoSAA6I2-YyhbnWjRAYAgfQxNkeqTLbfHKcU9BYZLbJzxIAWT4aGfJ67lDPr3-WP5urVBcZ59FqHxVc41uS-0Ab9l_IjirA9pJYe0zgXvAmZq8PvH/s1600/Carly+at+Faith+and+Freedom.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7o__YANeSD__y9Azco6MC-l_2TSNaoSAA6I2-YyhbnWjRAYAgfQxNkeqTLbfHKcU9BYZLbJzxIAWT4aGfJ67lDPr3-WP5urVBcZ59FqHxVc41uS-0Ab9l_IjirA9pJYe0zgXvAmZq8PvH/s1600/Carly+at+Faith+and+Freedom.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Screen grab from Carly Fiorina's recent speech in DC</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext"><a href="https://carlyforpresident.com/">Carly Fiorina</a>, 60, would prefer a different outcome. I saw Ms. Fiorina electrify the Road to Majority Conference this weekend in Washington DC, and I left the hall to the excited buzz of newly-converted admirers. See her superb 20-minute speech <a href="http://www.c-span.org/video/?326702-4/carla-fiorina-faith-freedom-coalition-conference">here</a>.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext">Democrat <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/27/us/politics/27geraldine-ferraro.html">Geraldine Ferarro </a>in 1984 was the first woman to capture a major party's nomination for Vice President, followed by Republican <a href="https://sarahpalinchannel.com/">Sarah Palin</a> in 2008. They both already demonstrated women's acceptability for high office.</span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-EdIkDcYLGhXXP8k2N4wDZ5CoGx2v1sqk59hhTcGNV_d63frAdra8Cm80RGhUAYsXTasfe7vRHwyVMCb5e4sI8xdyyFqZgKthOv4tVJUI1v68XT7Lfkr7bC4KoBaGmYQ4xMRgdsliXdPC/s1600/condoleezza-rice-lg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-EdIkDcYLGhXXP8k2N4wDZ5CoGx2v1sqk59hhTcGNV_d63frAdra8Cm80RGhUAYsXTasfe7vRHwyVMCb5e4sI8xdyyFqZgKthOv4tVJUI1v68XT7Lfkr7bC4KoBaGmYQ4xMRgdsliXdPC/s320/condoleezza-rice-lg.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Sec'y Condoleeza Rice: Universally respected</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext"><br /></span></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext">And there's another woman who, like Mrs. Clinton, has international experience. A concert pianist, National Security Advisor to the President, Secretary of State, Stanford provost and professor, corporate board member, College Football Playoff-picker, and seven years younger than Hillary: <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Condoleezza_Rice">Condoleeza Rice</a>. Unlike Hillary, she has no family baggage or scandals to detract from her record. Adding her as VP to any ticket--as <a href="http://www.michaelmedved.com/column/how-rice-as-running-mate-could-power-victory/">suggested</a> by my husband--undercuts Mrs. Clinton's "I am woman" mantra, and adds Dr. Rice's proven national security expertise.</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext">Hillary <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/10/upshot/hillary-clinton-is-more-vulnerable-in-2016-than-you-think.html?_r=0&abt=0002&abg=1">isn't gaining</a> fans, and in fact, it appears she's <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/monkey-cage/wp/2015/06/03/hillary-clintons-poll-numbers-are-falling-among-democrats/">losing them</a>. It could be her stiff, five-miles-an-hour delivery of stump speeches. It could be her unwillingness to answer direct questions, or her squishiness on foreign enemies and solving domestic economic lethargy. Most likely, the public's just tired of her, because <i>she</i> sounds tired. She never earned their trust or friendship. Mitt Romney can attest to the importance of a candidate who <a href="http://fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/04/11/romneys-empathy-gap/">"cares about people like me</a>," and with a net worth somewhere near $30 million, few are "people like Hillary."</span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span class="contenttext">So Hillary is reduced to touting her gender. Voters want a candidate with a record of competence, but with a trail of scandals and embarrassments, the Democratic candidate just keeps singing her slow-tempo "I am Woman" refrain as Republicans with momentum pass her by.</span></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="color: black; font-size: small;"></span></span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-69130781560731461142015-06-02T00:08:00.000-07:002015-06-02T00:15:12.787-07:00Pressure for Women to Look Good is Imposed by Bottom-Biting Media<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I write here of two problems: that women feel badly about the pursuit of beauty, and that <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8SPx0i_7ICqNIOo46vhuvDQiyaKnordAWtsTjkO1033PhSlpmLhfqkYqnqeL_-VQkSDcVS4v_8G6Mmg9jtAJOOsND55D5JQNg4eCHAlkc37VTWw-FtL9zvISV2VZIU3eMarJ7fVylINMk/s1600/Megyn-Kelly_fox-News.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8SPx0i_7ICqNIOo46vhuvDQiyaKnordAWtsTjkO1033PhSlpmLhfqkYqnqeL_-VQkSDcVS4v_8G6Mmg9jtAJOOsND55D5JQNg4eCHAlkc37VTWw-FtL9zvISV2VZIU3eMarJ7fVylINMk/s320/Megyn-Kelly_fox-News.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Commentator Megyn Kelly, part of the pressuring media.</span></td></tr>
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some cannot express their conflicts properly. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">An opinion <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/31/opinion/sunday/jennifer-weiner-the-pressure-to-look-good.html?_r=0">article</a> in the New York Times recently bemoaned feminists' needs to make themselves look as--pick your favorite--young, sexy, stylish, desirable, nubile, beautiful as they possibly can.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> "The Pressure to Look Good" noted women's hypocrisy in insisting on achievement and empowerment while, well, squeezing into Spanx. The writer, an author, lamented that she received a compliment for her Time Magazine piece encouraging her daughter to aspire beyond appearances-- while on her way for Botox injections. "How can you tell your girls that inner beauty matters when you're texting them the message from your aesthetician's chair?"</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Admittedly, I don't know what an aesthetician is, and neither does my word processor, but I do know one thing: writer Jennifer Weiner failed in assigning blame. She writes, "Social media has done many wonderful things for women, and for writers, and for activists, and for women writer activists...But, in terms of beauty, it's really bitten us on the bottom."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Leave aside that women, writers, activists and women writer activists likely do not share a collective bottom.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Focus instead on a more troublesome and ubiquitous problem. Media are plural. Social media HAVE done many wonderful things, but THEY have not bitten bottoms. Or a singular, shared bottom, with their plural teeth, a most peculiar metaphor to visualize.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> One might have thought a woman writer activist would realize that the word "media" is the plural form of the singular "medium." Or, at the least, one might have expected that copy editors at the New York Times would be so informed.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> However, preparing for the possible snap of another's cell phone camera, and the photo perhaps going viral on Twitter, blogs, Facebook and Instagram requires a lot of advance primping. Which leaves little time for proof-reading. "There have been entire afternoons that I could have spent with my daughters where I've been in the salon instead, getting my gray covered up and my calluses scrubbed," Ms. Weiner admits, awkwardly. After all, today's women know "that being out in public means being looked at, and possibly photographed, assessed in a way that men still are not, and maybe never will be." Such is the thinking of women writer activists.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Reminder to Ms. Weiner and all feminists everywhere: men and women are different. Despite a new definition of marriage that equates genders, the way the real world works is that women first gain attention for beauty and men first for dynamism and career success. It's not fair, it's not egalitarian and it's not politically correct, but <i>something</i> drives Ms. Weiner to "squeeze into viselike undergarments and heels so high that I can barely hobble..." She admits a motivation is "just liking to look good," and fearing what happens online to "any woman who doesn't."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May I suggest two things. First, just as a physician takes an oath to "do no harm," professional writers should swear to use proper grammar. (Incomplete sentences exempt.) Specifically, writers should not confuse "media" with "medium." Contributing to the problem is that the word "media" is usually preceded by "the," as in "The media are about to abandon Hillary Clinton despite their liberal bias." Why not just return to the uncluttered and direct use of the word "media" <i>without </i>an unnecessary "the" beforehand? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Media, are you listening? </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alas, I realize you're not. </span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCSIcXH3gX7iQYlu7eaOWZcvGm4HWymBj1EBrDb78sLtXbCIRvbsW7zpQUVgOlwvAffBfkSJGCDqAMNzx7iEN-c520FFXPkC8LqApJhDEfz2hC84IVyVitoXs3m2YnrOC6nsXTVFGBRmVc/s1600/author+Jennifer+Weiner.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCSIcXH3gX7iQYlu7eaOWZcvGm4HWymBj1EBrDb78sLtXbCIRvbsW7zpQUVgOlwvAffBfkSJGCDqAMNzx7iEN-c520FFXPkC8LqApJhDEfz2hC84IVyVitoXs3m2YnrOC6nsXTVFGBRmVc/s320/author+Jennifer+Weiner.jpg" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Writer Jennifer Weiner: conflicted.</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Second suggestion: Admit that women seek recognition for their physical appearance, and choose to honor that desire and be comfortable with it (or not). Just don't complain about it and then publish surprise that you perpetuate it. Success and attractiveness can co-exist even as in many situations the former is dependent on the latter. The newscaster can offer astute commentary from her lipstick-rouged mouth as it speaks above her cleavage. She can provide sharp analysis, while seated in a short skirt.</span> <span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If smart journalists jointly refused to show off their nicely dressed bodies, well, ratings would suffer, and some other woman who has it all (brains and beauty, both) will come take the job.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I am a feminist. I am a realist. I am a grammar geek. Feminists can acknowledge or eschew the reality of gender differences (whether they exist by acculturation or biology), choosing how to respond to that reality. Some things, however, cannot stand, and those include nasty, bottom-biting media.</span><br />
<br />
Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-64587597260766654032015-05-01T17:15:00.001-07:002015-05-04T12:10:05.792-07:00Seatle Got its May Day Riots--" Smackdown Mom" was Right<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_ekM6Z8sTwlHFry7-clqZhZz7SVXTQJNFotMPFuc3bAIEqqCYrcze28xJKi22DDn7lpvqDmPf3eMC0ZpO6eWItnCjKEJC2IMOqGH0guFJvdbwuzZP-AD-GxFAGO8oX1UfLkn2D46CU95S/s1600/Maypole.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="209" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_ekM6Z8sTwlHFry7-clqZhZz7SVXTQJNFotMPFuc3bAIEqqCYrcze28xJKi22DDn7lpvqDmPf3eMC0ZpO6eWItnCjKEJC2IMOqGH0guFJvdbwuzZP-AD-GxFAGO8oX1UfLkn2D46CU95S/s1600/Maypole.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">This is not me, but could've been</span>.</span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The meaning of May Day has morphed, from innocent and happy to sinister and angry.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> “To old-fashioned people, May Day means flowers, grass, picnics,
children, clean frocks. To up-and-doing Socialists and Communists it
means speechmaking, parading, bombs, brickbats, conscientious violence," said an <a href="http://time.com/3836834/may-day-labor-history/">article</a> in Time Magazine in 1929.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was an old-fashioned child, born after Communists were rooted out and Socialists never mentioned in my carefree American home. In my public elementary school in Los Angeles, each grade prepared dances for a May Day performance for parents. Girls wore flowers in their hair, boys wore crepe-paper bow ties, each class distinguished by a different color. The dances were in circles, squares and lines, and the children were reminded to smile. Sometimes there'd be a May Pole, and each girl would take a streamer and dance around it until it became wound in happy colors.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At home, we'd pluck flowers from our yard, tuck them into construction paper cones with stapled-on handles, and leave them on front-door knobs before ringing the bell and running off in giggles.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the United States, association of May 1 with labor protests dates to the Haymarket Riots of 1886, when workers held a national strike for the cause of 8-hour days. But by the mid and late 20th century, most workers had no need for protests. Union wages were well established, and men returning from World War II set off on careers that would allow them the American Dream. The Baby Boom was a spurt of hope, and families, with two parents and children, the center of the culture.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But over just the last decade or so, May 1 in the US changed. Street demonstrations abound; this year's march in Seattle was billed as "the </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">14th Annual May Day March for Worker and Immigrant Rights, organized by El Comité." It's annual now; expected, and it's not about working conditions, more vacation, sick time or salary. Today, May Day is the day for anger about whatever's currently newsworthy, like immigration enforcement or the obvious fact that black lives matter.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Get ready for it: in Seattle, residents were warned to steer clear of Downtown Seattle; authorities didn't know what to expect. The newspaper instructed that bus routes may be moved to avoid confrontations. The Mayor set up a press conference. Places, everyone; time for combat. And at night it happened: Anarchists formed what <a href="http://www.king5.com/story/news/local/seattle/2015/05/01/may-day-friday-coverage/26724049/">KING 5 TV called</a> an "anti-capitalist rally," bashing cars, throwing rocks and sticks at officers, and vandalizing and spray-painting property on Capital Hill. Police sustained injuries, as Seattle got its riot. And for what?</span><br />
<br /><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Certainly some causes are worth protesting. I can sympathize with the black community's frustration that young black males tangle disproportionately with law enforcement, and I can understand that at certain periods in our country's history, unfair labor practices required extreme action to correct.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigXblmi7BUSPEyG74cZuwluk6S4G5qGrtQ3QwNx7AKFqKxi3WMSuZgap_GvqITtvEjavWV9dPvG2IGUJwHG98B7tsx5HZz19TAbZa_e_iwS3u9zBYP4X76E6KVjKwN1eNhO6RLkcq0k9-X/s1600/Seattle+May+Day+2015.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigXblmi7BUSPEyG74cZuwluk6S4G5qGrtQ3QwNx7AKFqKxi3WMSuZgap_GvqITtvEjavWV9dPvG2IGUJwHG98B7tsx5HZz19TAbZa_e_iwS3u9zBYP4X76E6KVjKwN1eNhO6RLkcq0k9-X/s1600/Seattle+May+Day+2015.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Seattle police on May Day, 2015</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But...today? Anarchy? What's the appeal, except narcissism? And what's this anti-capitalism? Have we forgotten the 2012 Arab <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arab_Spring">Spring Riots </a>(spring--again) seeking capitalistic opportunity and resisting oppressive governments? After Stalin and Castro and Mao, hasn't the world learned the value of freedom? </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">May Day in America now gives license for anger.</span><br />
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<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The change of May Day emphasis from sweet, springtime doorstep bouquets to protests and confrontation is sad--and destructive. Stand-offs and conflicts pump protesters' adrenaline but don't solve problems.</span><br />
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<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbrWpkzWGYK-aDPUyrFOZUB7AjhAzHycGd-143-R3pZNz-evgco6_KHF4DY8oNUZBADKwNOlctltyrWaWVWPD33uTg7mwW5j3fAAyPr1HPf1ED-tsOhFix9pTIPz-9KeKiOoTgUyqVv83P/s1600/no+freddie+gray.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbrWpkzWGYK-aDPUyrFOZUB7AjhAzHycGd-143-R3pZNz-evgco6_KHF4DY8oNUZBADKwNOlctltyrWaWVWPD33uTg7mwW5j3fAAyPr1HPf1ED-tsOhFix9pTIPz-9KeKiOoTgUyqVv83P/s1600/no+freddie+gray.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Toya Graham smacking her errant son in Baltimore</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Baltimore "smackdown mom" <a href="http://abc13.com/news/baltimores-mom-of-the-year-who-smacked-son-on-tv-opens-up/686935/">Toya Graham</a> had it right when she went after her 16-year-old son when she saw him throwing rocks in a riot. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Want to get in trouble? March in the street with a bunch of angry people.Want to get in bigger trouble? Throw rocks at cops.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Moms need to keep their kids in line--and at the same time they need to guard their innocence. Parents have the power to teach values. Yes, yell when they do stupid things. But raise them with traditions that celebrate the world. Restore May Day to positive appreciation for hope and renewal, and teach means to channel anger toward useful constructive action. </span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-80829607118773148432015-04-13T20:52:00.000-07:002015-04-14T00:21:46.127-07:00On Being a Caretaker as the Patient gets Better and Better<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkDL6TB-dM_VL9rIfUGYNDgmfAx9mARLR4O2Pu4b5dzUZp_5Kq3XBnZDNCNljDWBzzD4f-EfpJWdPCMlCXXNp_Y9fomDARyUeOPA512hQjlZOsxtrDGHHVLrD2pmK2BpWFY99yeENPYe1o/s1600/Radiation+nurse+with+bubbles+at+end+of+Michael's+treatment,+Swedish.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkDL6TB-dM_VL9rIfUGYNDgmfAx9mARLR4O2Pu4b5dzUZp_5Kq3XBnZDNCNljDWBzzD4f-EfpJWdPCMlCXXNp_Y9fomDARyUeOPA512hQjlZOsxtrDGHHVLrD2pmK2BpWFY99yeENPYe1o/s1600/Radiation+nurse+with+bubbles+at+end+of+Michael's%2Btreatment%2C%2BSwedish.jpg" height="262" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Nurse offered bubbles when my husband finished treatment</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Nobody likes dealing with cancer, especially me. My daughter-in-law, the one about to be "pinned" as a registered nurse, loves everything medical. She's comfortable in the environment of a hospital, with officials rushing around reading machines hooked up to pale patients. Not me. The hospital smell makes me queasy. The pale people make me worried, and feeling lost and untrained makes me anxious.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So being a "caretaker," the euphemism for a completely uneducated person charged with somebody else's life-and-death requirements, is about the last thing I desire.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes we have no choice.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With my husband diagnosed with throat cancer, we together entered a strange and out-of-focus world with its own rules. Gravity doesn't pull the same direction. Something I considered gross, say, anything thick and greenish, becomes measured and analyzed. In this upside-down milieu, activities heretofore unmentioned earn applause. As one nurse blithely remarked, "we celebrate poop."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Me, not so much. Nor vomit, nor dense, stringy mucus. Seeing blood normally makes me feel faint. Needles going into people make me wince. This is the recuperatant's universe.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Remember, I'm the movie critic's wife who won't accompany her husband to any screenings liable to portray violence, suspense or slapstick. What very sick individuals go through could be classified as the former. And sometimes the latter.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So be proud of me. In the last two months I've learned a whole new vocabulary. Unless you're a medical professional, I doubt you know the word "bolus." (It's a big syringe of liquid that gets squirted into a person's stomach via a tube through a, pardon me, hole.) People whose swallowing mechanisms have been zapped or otherwise disrupted need to get sustenance somehow. I have learned exactly how.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And I will spare you.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>Horror Film Medication Names </b></span><br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcHmi2ecea9TKCr3c1QNMLxrr2y0dlUfNiRztmrX5F6CRdSfGiFaP3ElhRQx1lPdZ76nVc46wNNzePzwkT8s4CfE-ildPhAPOAafbBKPDkPdzSGeK65mviqppjWqbIijZcjWnAMGfrDx7T/s1600/Beginningoftheend.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcHmi2ecea9TKCr3c1QNMLxrr2y0dlUfNiRztmrX5F6CRdSfGiFaP3ElhRQx1lPdZ76nVc46wNNzePzwkT8s4CfE-ildPhAPOAafbBKPDkPdzSGeK65mviqppjWqbIijZcjWnAMGfrDx7T/s1600/Beginningoftheend.jpg" height="320" width="208" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">This monster is not "Ondansetron."</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Now, everybody thinks she knows about taking medicine, right? You pop it into your mouth and depending on what it is, chew, or drink and swallow. Oh yeah--some people can't swallow.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Gratefully, my husband's swallowing muscles still function, but given all the zapping that went on in his mouth and throat, it's a mess in there. Again, I'll spare you, but as it pertains to me, the mess causes the need for varying levels and types of medications, many of which take a lot of careful administration in creative ways.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I learned that many medications go by not just one strange, made-up combination of letters, but quite often, two. These wild-words are used interchangeably, nonchalantly, as if everybody <i>knows</i> that, say, Ondansetron is also Zofran. I should have figured that, since both sound like horror-movie robots.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisP6L7nZheXn6bOShL6D-kaRIJ4PsGlGqKt3Ycor4L4o4N1PzxD3yyJcckAMWu1mgqE4pJl3zwWpC6PWXdOxu1ITPKEFdi_yqMBq5IyRt7vUEnDu4te90wjhMS_Insx-ZWidZBnfDlZcW4/s1600/Gamera_1965.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisP6L7nZheXn6bOShL6D-kaRIJ4PsGlGqKt3Ycor4L4o4N1PzxD3yyJcckAMWu1mgqE4pJl3zwWpC6PWXdOxu1ITPKEFdi_yqMBq5IyRt7vUEnDu4te90wjhMS_Insx-ZWidZBnfDlZcW4/s1600/Gamera_1965.jpg" height="320" width="225" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">"Gamera" is not a medication name.</span></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, all medications carry destroyer-of-the-world names. There's no Caretaker U course called Weird Words 101 teaching you that two completely unrelated-sounding creatures are the same, and that those particular protagonists fix, say, nausea caused by chemotherapy. Instead, as people wield these terms in your direction, you exist with a special level of panic, sure you're going to give the lizard monster to the patient when really he should have gotten the enormous turtle monster.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I learned many things. How to repress responses when cleaning out receptacles. How to speak up when bullied by people using multi-syllabic medical jargon. I know that as confusing and overwhelming as this is for me, it is magnitudes worse for my dear husband who actually endures the devastating process that is necessary for his cure.</span><br />
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It Gets Better</span></b><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even as the gunk and sputum and slime and other impolite substances continue as part of our lives, he shows signs of improvement every day. Which allows us to trudge along.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">While he was hospitalized, I began repeating a phrase that my sweet Daddy used to say often: "Every day in every way I am getting better and better." I replaced the "I" with "you" and told this to my husband every day, even on days when I didn't believe it.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTtsMESy1QlQvWtYIRkmhRAgw0u3AAnV6rGcAIxQcdCh_LfGCbOgaXE2HK4qjMG2_gEAKoUWaEr99FmxQckwVdWl-bC78o1L-v-f4dvifQZlnSJuPxs7drOTj-I1lX5IEpjXIOEGNwf89f/s1600/emile+coue+book+jacket.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTtsMESy1QlQvWtYIRkmhRAgw0u3AAnV6rGcAIxQcdCh_LfGCbOgaXE2HK4qjMG2_gEAKoUWaEr99FmxQckwVdWl-bC78o1L-v-f4dvifQZlnSJuPxs7drOTj-I1lX5IEpjXIOEGNwf89f/s1600/emile+coue+book+jacket.jpg" height="320" width="207" /></a><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The phrase originated with French psychologist <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%89mile_Cou%C3%A9">Emile Coue</a> (1857-1926) who developed self-hypnosis and the use of "affirmations." He saw that patients he encouraged did better than those he didn't, conducted some experiments to show this, and through his book <i>Self-Mastery Through Conscious Auto-Suggestion</i> (1922) popularized his catchy phrase. It later reverberated throughout the culture, including mention in a PG Wodehouse story ("<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11b7MJgZaoI">Mr. Potter Takes a Rest Cure</a>"), a Pink Panther movie (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Pink_Panther_Strikes_Again">"The Pink Panther Strikes Again"</a>), and a John Lennon song (<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_j-tpmdPlI">"Beautiful Boy [Darling Boy]"</a>).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And now my husband hears it and is getting better and better. Hair has broken through his scalp, now forming a five o'clock shadow where there were few wispy survivors of his chemotherapy. His voice is getting noticeably stronger. He spends increasing time at his computer writing, and published op-ed <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2015/04/02/sodomy-laws-indiana-gay-religion-column/70785174/">pieces </a>in <a href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2015/03/24/ted-cruz-hillary-clinton-jeb-bush-primary-2016-column/70339504/">USA Today</a>, and his <a href="http://www.truthrevolt.org/news/medved-rand-and-ted-begin-their-excellent-adventure">column </a>for <a href="http://www.truthrevolt.org/news/medved-her-campaign-hillary-selects-contradictory-goals">Truth Revolt</a>, as well as commentaries you can read on <a href="http://www.michaelmedved.com/#">his website</a>. He's started recording <a href="http://www.michaelmedved.com/highlight/michael-gives-an-update-on-his-health/">segments</a> for his show where he gives his take on the day's current events. The mucus that emanates from his radiated salivary glands still prohibits his hosting his three-hour radio show, but he's coming back, every day, in every way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We both look forward to the time, relatively soon, when all this will be forgotten (more so for him thanks to certain wild-worded medications). And I can return to being my squeamish self where little is slimy and our lives' cast of characters is familiar.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1219039592451741506.post-312842693190250562015-01-22T23:56:00.000-08:002015-01-22T23:56:26.914-08:00Falling in Love with Anyone<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAPtTDw7G7fKyGA1ybar0Qxqu40SugniBghXVzvRIeUY6QSSP9vJ4DCUzv82oFY1HvTD67YBc_YCpnF10IoymBE8O-dmtG27sC3SGoFeEW82mffRour3pKekJ4vxbwGImT1PP9egHBUkpI/s1600/Diane+&+Michael+lifted+on+chairs+at+wedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAPtTDw7G7fKyGA1ybar0Qxqu40SugniBghXVzvRIeUY6QSSP9vJ4DCUzv82oFY1HvTD67YBc_YCpnF10IoymBE8O-dmtG27sC3SGoFeEW82mffRour3pKekJ4vxbwGImT1PP9egHBUkpI/s1600/Diane+&+Michael+lifted+on+chairs+at+wedding.jpg" height="257" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The New York Times' "Modern Love" <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/modern-love-to-fall-in-love-with-anyone-do-this.html">column</a> of January 9, "To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,"</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> garnered more than 5.2 million online visits, 365,000 "Shares" on Facebook, and 745 comments. A reader even set up the fall-in-love procedure as a game on a <a href="http://loveactualized.com/?utm_expid=96156293-2.59NLN9oeSuu9EdJXgeLNVQ.0">website.</a> People are desperate for love. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Writer Mandy Len Catron successfully tried "a Cupid-like technique to help two strangers fall in love," a series of <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html?_r=0">36 personal questions </a>a pair asks each other, developed two decades ago by psychologist <a href="http://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/psychology/index.php?people/faculty/author_aron">Arthur Aron</a>. The process culminates in a four-minute eyeball-to eyeball stare-down. After a 45-minute interchange and gazing through the windows of the soul, the couple feels in sync.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mandy Len Catron's take-away lesson: By building closeness through introspective communication, "it's possible--simple, even--to generate trust and intimacy, the feelings love needs to thrive."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If it's "simple, even" to <i>create</i> trust and intimacy, wouldn't it be even simpler to <i>rekindle</i> the same feelings, once entrenched and now faded? To re-fall in love, and avoid divorce?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Two married people drifting apart emotionally could take only a single hour answering 36 questions to steer themselves back together. With such an easy formula for closeness, why wouldn't every estranged couple give it a try? Revealing feelings is a lot less traumatic than moving out; a lot less costly than court; a lot less acrimonious than deciding custody.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's why not: willingness. Or lack thereof.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Willingness is a choice, of course. And certainly people have justifiable reasons to refuse. Justifiable, but often sadly selfish.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Perhaps withdrawing is the culmination of years of small slights, hurting comments or unfair expectations. And certainly there are times when a spouse feels so betrayed she can't bear the offender. (Divorce is indeed necessary in some cases.) But even after resentment and anger replace a chunk of original affection, a couple can <i>still </i>decide to set the bad stuff aside in order to choose closeness.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But few people now learn to put others ahead of themselves. The concept of self-sacrifice has abysmally low ratings. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Still, most who enter marriage claim intentions of "forever," and want the relationship to work (as long as it satisfies). A functioning, pleasurable, life-enhancing relationship for <i>both</i> partners is the prize--but it requires willingness to put others ahead of yourself.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Stubbornness is selfishness</i>--and keeps too many partners from deciding to give in to the other. The 36 questions shift the focus. How can you stay estranged when you're telling your partner personal insights like your secret hunch about how you'll die? About why you haven't accomplished what you've dreamed of doing? About your feelings regarding your mother?</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In the exercise, moving from your deepest interior life into questions focusing on the other cements the connection. "If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know." The process climaxes with question 36: "Share a personal problem and ask your partner's advice on how he or she might handle it. Also ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen."</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8XSkfTq2m2k_IOLtyVl-HoHbvqcNVz4jHBJO8uyXM8Qljs0vWrIXK8KZgPszu_4FmHYNuzSKk5WvpyxCn8IlfVXz8WTAgO_jWCX6X3eNXo9HHJLIvmJc00MGQc42GLlb7ODKXg-0yVRfq/s1600/DSC07220-003.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8XSkfTq2m2k_IOLtyVl-HoHbvqcNVz4jHBJO8uyXM8Qljs0vWrIXK8KZgPszu_4FmHYNuzSKk5WvpyxCn8IlfVXz8WTAgO_jWCX6X3eNXo9HHJLIvmJc00MGQc42GLlb7ODKXg-0yVRfq/s1600/DSC07220-003.JPG" height="242" width="320" /></a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Why are these 36 questions so effective at producing love between strangers (and non-strangers, too)? Because embedded in the questioning is a course on communicating and bonding. The questions require looking inward about memories, emotions and desires </span>(<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ie one's past, present and future).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They require forming these thoughts into cogent words, phrases and paragraphs--<i>expressing</i> one's interior--and checking to see that the receiver understood. This involves offering oneself to the other, becoming vulnerable; when both do this they form a relationship combining the two individuals.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The entire process rests on a <i>bond</i> and a <i>goal</i>--a commitment</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> (bond)</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> to work together</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">to connect, "to fall in love with anyone" (goal).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That's marriage: A bond that supersedes a declaration, and an ongoing goal. Everyone knows how tough it is to undo the legal contract; neglect alone can dissolve the emotional bond. But few articulate that the goal, called by the 36 questions game "falling in love with anyone," must be pursued by daily choices placing the spouse, and the relationship, first.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The goal of marriage is <i>continuing</i> to fall in love, every day, every moment, with "anyone," the person you've got sitting in front of you, the person you may know better than all others, and still not yet know because he changes all the time. Understanding those changes brings closeness, the substance of love, and all you have to do is <i>choose</i> to keep asking the questions. And gazing into each others' eyes. </span><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(Dedicated to the love of my life, as we celebrate our thirtieth wedding anniversary January 27, 2015.)</span></i> <span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The 36 questions can be found <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.html?_r=0">here</a>.</span>Northern Lighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15969094667907320393noreply@blogger.com1