We Won't Have Sarah Palin To Kick Around Anymore. Or Will We?

I started writing this post about Sarah Palin last night, but didn't have time to publish it. Then, in the midst of a busy day, I heard my fave radio talk show host addressing this topic--making several of the points I'd written! But there's plenty to say about Gov. Palin, who eagerly leaped onto the international stage, and seems to imply she can stay there, even without any platform under her feet.

While reading Gov. Palin's mostly incoherent statement announcing that she's resigning two-thirds into her first term, I was haunted by a blubbery voice intoning, "you won't have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore..." uttered after the future president lost for California governor in 1962. Apparently I wasn't the only one channeling that ghost; I googled the quote to verify its date, and found several more writers invoking the parallel.

Admittedly, I only heard clips from Gov. Palin's speech, but her chirpy tones sing from the prepared text distributed to the world online, littered with ellipses, orphaned phrases, slang, and even double-parentheses surrounded by stars. Can't imagine it? This line was actually within the address released from the governor's office:

*((Gotta put First Things First))*

Even in a note passed during class to a friend in junior high, I doubt you'd find that kind of punctuation. I especially like that the "p" in "put" is lower case. Gives gravity to the "Gotta."

I will be completely candid about Sarah Palin, who stole more of my brain cells this weekend than she deserves.

When Sen. McCain presented her as his vice-presidential running mate, I was jazzed. Not only was she a woman (who could lure Hillary's feminists), but she came across with spunk and energy and gave a warm, ingratiating acceptance speech. Her family was adorable; she clearly acted on her pro-life beliefs. Given my admiration for Sen. McCain, I trusted that he had researched Gov. Palin's credentials, and had spent enough time with her to know that she was not only presentable and an advantageous gender, but capable. That she was well-versed in international relations, understood the political system and process, and, even if lacking in the aforementioned, was quick and earnest enough to jump up to speed. Her folksiness was a plus; a refreshing change from beltway insiders with Ivy League bona fides. I had the highest hopes.

Gradually, Gov. Palin dismantled my enthusiasm. The first problem was the inconvenient pregnancy of her daughter, Bristol, shown during the campaign holding hands with her "fiance," Levi Johnson. Though I couldn't blame the Governor for her daughter's transgression, I wondered what the young couple was waiting for. If this is a marriage-supportive family, where's the marriage? Why so easy about Bristol as an unwed mother?

This would have been merely a distraction, however, if Ms. Palin hadn't failed to present herself and her running-mate favorably. There was the Charlie Gibson interview where she kept repeating, despite Gibson's probing, that we "shouldn't second guess" what Israel might do. And her cluelessness about the Bush Doctrine on the Iraq war.

Then her supporters gulped at the excruciating Katie Couric interview, where the governor seemed to be parroting back her handlers' phrases and pat answers:

Couric: You've said, quote, "John McCain will reform the way Wall Street does business." Other than supporting stricter regulations of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac two years ago, can you give us any more examples of his leading the charge for more oversight?

Palin: I think that the example that you just cited, with his warnings two years ago about Fannie and Freddie - that, that's paramount. That's more than a heck of a lot of other senators and representatives did for us.

Couric: But he's been in Congress for 26 years. He's been chairman of the powerful Commerce Committee. And he has almost always sided with less regulation, not more.

Palin: He's also known as the maverick though, taking shots from his own party, and certainly taking shots from the other party. Trying to get people to understand what he's been talking about - the need to reform government.

Couric: But can you give me any other concrete examples? Because I know you've said Barack Obama is a lot of talk and no action. Can you give me any other examples in his 26 years of John McCain truly taking a stand on this?

Palin: I can give you examples of things that John McCain has done, that has shown his foresight, his pragmatism, and his leadership abilities. And that is what America needs today.

Couric: I'm just going to ask you one more time - not to belabor the point. Specific examples in his 26 years of pushing for more regulation.

Palin: I'll try to find you some and I'll bring them to you.

Cringe. In a subsequent Couric interview, Gov. Palin's inability to name any of the newspapers she reads, other than to say "all of them," didn't fly well, nor did her blank on Supreme Court rulings with which she disagreed.

She did a bit better, on paper, in her debate with Joe Biden on October 4, but I felt that her soccer-mom, 'round the kitchen table style, punctuated with winks, defeated her purpose, which was to demonstrate her seriousness and grasp of complicated issues, and counter detractors' accusations of ignorance. She seemed stuck with memorized phrases, sidestepping Gwen Ifill's questions. Biden had anticipated her lines, countering swiftly and charging onto the offensive. Palin had rehearsed a few punches, but couldn't fend off Biden's jabs. At the end of the debate, I was disheartened (as I was after McCain's inarticulate sparring with Obama).

And as the campaign wore on, the petty cuts of opponents (e.g. her $150,000 wardrobe) were far less effective in undermining her credibility than her own superficial and inarticulate statements. A New York Times poll taken on October 10 asked voters if their opinion of John McCain had changed over the previous two weeks. Seven percent said for the better, and 21% said for the worse. Of those dropping their support, the top two reasons were his attacks on opponents (23%) and...dum, dum dum...Sarah Palin (22%). The same poll asked about views of Ms. Palin herself; her ratings had collapsed since a September 12 query, switching from 40% favorable, 30% unfavorable down to 32% favorable and 41% unfavorable.

Yes, she had indeed been the recipient of some pretty mean behavior, even after losing the election. Her Thanksgiving pardon of a turkey while a slaughterer awkwardly decided whether to proceed with his task in the scene behind her (he finally smote the bird as she kept talking, unaware) could have been a Saturday Night Live skit.

And after becoming awkwardly indignant at the rude joke by late-night TV host David Letterman about Alex Rodriguez having sex with her daughter at a baseball game, she began to look more pathetic than presidential.

Now we come to her Independence Day-eve resignation. Anyone who's a fan of Lynne Truss' Eats, Shoots and Leaves better be sitting down while reading it. Detailing the punctuation and grammar errors rife in every sentence, and in even the plentiful fragments, would be overkill for a blog post, but their effect is to undermine her message and even worse, the messenger herself. Any tenth- grader should be able to write better than this. Or call in an editor, or at least use spell-check. (BTW, I'm a fan of sentence fragments.)

The problem is not only that she rambles, but that she's completely disjointed and unintelligible, mixing in basketball, fishing, visiting Kosovo and her parents' refrigerator magnet. After a self-serving list of her accomplishments, she launches into a lament about 15 ethics accusations that she said cost 2 million in tax dollars, and "thousands of hours" of state employees' time to handle. In fact, she says "my staff and I spend most of our day dealing with this instead of progressing our state now." Doesn't make her look good.

But it's not clear if being the victim of politically-motivated attacks was the reason for her resignation, Dick Nixon-style comments notwithstanding. Here's how she prefaced it, lifted directly from the gubernatorial website, errors and all:

Life is too short to compromise time and resources... it may be tempting and more comfortable to just keep your head down, plod along, and appease those who demand: "Sit down and shut up", but that's the worthless, easy path; that's a quitter's way out. And a problem in our country today is apathy. It would be apathetic to just hunker down and “go with the flow”. Nah, only dead fish "go with the flow".

Is she saying that leaving the job her constituents elected her to do is not quitting but emulating live fish? Do fish hunker?

She seems to suggest that remaining in office would "allow millions upon millions of our dollars go to waste just so I can hold the title of Governor." If she can't see through her first and only term in high office, what kind of Vice President would she be? If the mean-spirited political world is too much for her while she's busy with Alaska's 686,000 residents (62% of whom are Republicans), how would she weather constant barbs from the nation's 72 million Democrats?

She says she's "taking my fight for what's right--for Alaska!--in another direction," but doesn't say which, allowing lots of room for speculation. Some snicker that she's evading some huge scandal about to break. Others suspect she wants time to complete her newly-contracted book (I think she needs a ghostwriter). Palin-pushers say she's going to launch her presidential campaign.

I hope she's just tired of the "superficial wasteful political bloodsport (sic)," recognizes her lack of knowledge, savvy and background, and returns to Wasilla to be a great mom to her kids, especially Trig, who she touchingly says "needs me, but I need him even more." Bristol also needs her guidance, now that she's a single mom taking public knocks from former fiance Levi Johnson (who says the Palins are "snobby" and fostering the misconception that his family is "white trash"), and even his sister Mercede ("they're lying, trying to save theirselves [sic]").

I have sympathy for the Palins' difficulties, and I wish them all well. But like Dick Nixon following his erstwhile exit from the scene, I suspect pundits may have the ex-governor to "kick around" for quite some time to come.