Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Tired of Hearing about Gay Marriage?

Aarrgh! No, I'm not suddenly a pirate; that's my expression for frustration.

One of my very best friends, whom I've known for, well, more years than I confess to, called me up today and said she liked my last post about gay marriage.

With barely a sentence in-between, she then said that she's tired of hearing about gay marriage, because she feels there's nothing she can do about it; she's a fish swimming upstream, and the gay lobbies are so powerful that even if the people vote their view, the lobbies will keep pushing for the courts to overturn it.

She said, "I feel like no amount of letter writing, or emails or phone calls will make a bit of difference; they're so determined. Gays who want to get married are such an infinitesimal number of people, why don't they just live their lives and enjoy all the rights that are the same as marriage and just leave us alone?"

She wants gay marriage advocates to buzz off, but since they're not, she'll succumb to them. She said sure, she'll vote for Prop 8, and she did, but once the aggressive gay marriage advocates press to undo it, well, she doesn't like it, but feels powerless.

Do you think I'm insane for staying so passionate about this issue? Should I join my friend and go out for some decaf coffee? Should I stop writing my book because nobody wants to hear about this anymore?


  1. Don't stop writing your book. It is valuable, no matter what happens with gay marriage.

    I understand your friend's frustration, as I feel it, too. I feel that way about many things in American life. It seems like the way politics is done in this country now is not about what the people want, it's about what the politicians want and what the lobbyists want. It's all about who is scratching whose back. Who am I as one little person against that?

    I don't understand why the gay rights gang has to have the definition of the word marriage changed in order to make them happy. It is all just to prove a point? I think if they weren't all so worried about finding prejudice everywhere they would be a lot happier (and so would we!). (for the record, I feel that way about racial discussions, too. If people weren't so busy looking for racism, they wouldn't see it everywhere - is there some in our society? Sure, but not as much as they think there is.)

    Keep on with your book, no matter what happens.

  2. Your friend is giving in to the "tyranny of the minority". Although understandable, this is exactly the tactic the minority is using to get their way. Just like a child throwing a temper tantrum. Although tiring, it is why we have to be resolute and stand up for our beliefs.

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  4. http://repealdoma.blogspot.com/2009/03/thumbs-down-northern-lights_25.html

  5. Yes, I am tired of hearing about homosexual "marriage*". But if I don't stand up for MY beliefs how can I expect the same of others? I will NOT be a 'Yes, ok whatever you say' drone. I will not. This is my country too. This is your friends country and your country and MY country. And we are a country of laws OF the people. The people have spoken loudly in many states. My kids whined loudly too... I ignored those whines as well. I am the adult, not the dog taught to roll over.

    *Note: I will NOT give in to the manipulation of language to make something more palatable. If they are proud to BE homosexual, let them call themselves what they are.

  6. Like the salmon I will continue to swim upstream although the popular media wants me to just stay in the ocean! It just gets very disheartening. However, I'm not going to be quiet about my values nor stop voting. But it does get frustrating and I'm thankful I have such a good friend to talk about these issues with.

  7. My gosh, I think my frustration was because I, too, don't want to "roll over and play dead" about something that's not about respect or liberty or choices. Gay people have all of the above. It's about gaining government endorsement for homosexuality as equivalent to heterosexual behavior in terms of its impact on society and as an ideal. A man and a woman together forms something unique that two of a kind do not, and that fact needs to be recognized, not erased. Thanks, Lynn, Birdie, Childs, Syllabucks And Freda's. George, we can disagree respectfully.

  8. Why do you even support the state's definition of marriage at all? Shouldn't marriage be about religion, and varied types of religions? As a Christian I may not think a gay couple can have what my wife and I have (marriage) but I don't mind them calling it that- My marriage is between my wife, myself, and the Lord. I don't want the state telling me that my marriage is just my wife and myself.

    Why support legislation in either direction? Get the government out of marriage! Please contact me if you find an error with my thinking.

  9. JJ,
    I agree that the primary foundation of marriage is religious. However, even if it's only for self-interest, societies and governments since the beginning of time have enacted rules and laws to reinforce marriage since stable families benefit society at large. These rules and laws have included financial benefits as part of that reinforcement. And my guess is that it is the desire of many gay marriage advocates to get on that "gravy train". But even if that guess is wrong, governments have always had a role in marriage and will continue to do so.

  10. Not related to this post..... BUT I LOVE the cowgirl costume!!! What ARE those wrist things? They look awfully uncomfortable, but no doubt they are very authentic.... uh... maybe. Ha ha! Cute sunny baby cow-kids. Love it!

  11. I'm tired of the gay marriage thing, too, as well as the "homophobe" title when you express your views. But press on. I had a wonderful, thoughtful conversation with my pro gay marriage liberal brother in CA the other night and at the end of our discussion he said, "You are the first person who has ever expressed an intelligent, non-judgemental, non-religious view against homosexual marriage". I took that as a compliment. (Of course, my view IS a result of my religious beliefs but I deliberately left that out) I just used biology and logic. I suggest that tactic as well as a calm/unemotional approach when dealing with people who are so caught up in what they belive is mainstream, non-judgemental beliefs that they can't think logically anymore.

  12. "Do you think I'm insane for staying so passionate about this issue? Should I join my friend and go out for some decaf coffee? Should I stop writing my book because nobody wants to hear about this anymore?"

    Not even a little bit. I know, I get war wary myself. But this issue is never going away on multiple fronts. If we “win” we still need to shore up marriage for the future. If we lose, we will need to defend our vision and various liberties for decades to come.

    Its going to be a long war….

    Mary Eberstadt has a article in a recent First Things that really captures the mood of the culture wars and the sexual revolution and counter revolution well.. Comparing it (convincingly) to the cold war.

    The Will to Disbelieve

    So keep your chin up and spirits up…. The truth & common humanity is on our side.
    And we have future generations to fight for.

  13. i am tired of it as well. I am also tired of all of the gay pride symbols. i think it is time we start a Heterosexual symbol or flag. Why do gay people (i know it is a minority few) have to always let you know in some way they are gay. ie Perez Hilton. I AM TIRED OF IT ALL.

  14. Why are straight people so ignorant thinking they know anything about a group experience of being in that persons shoes? Being Gay means having to find others who are gay in order to identify. What would you rather see gays hitting on straights until they find a match. If you give them what they want you can have your freedom of peace!