The holiday of Shavuos has passed, and though it feels like Monday, it is Wednesday...symbolic. Though I feel like I'm in college, I'm far past that, and, as I cannot grasp that it's already mid-week, I cannot accept that it's also midlife. And the babes who I told not to grow have once again disobeyed. It's graduation time.
Four years ago, my oldest graduated high school. This is an intellectual statement. Emotionally, four years ago, she was a toddler. Now she is taking a fifth year in college; her friends, ones I don't even know, are getting married. One in her small high school class already has a year-old baby. My second daughter is so loving her college sorority life that she regrets it's half over. My baby--now six feet tall--can't wait to get his driver's license in seven weeks so he'll be independent.
I was looking through his high school yearbook at the children whose graduation ceremony I'll attend tonight. Like my son, they have no business completing puberty. And while they will make their folks--my peers and friends--proud tonight, the parents will feel a loss. Been there, done that: It may be a couple of months before their babes actually depart for college, but nonetheless, graduation is no fun.
So, as I leafed through the yearbook, I couldn't help but get emotional. "This is why we raise them!" said the mom of the classmate who already has a baby to me the other day. "We want them to go out into the world and make their mark!" Well, yes, in theory. But inwardly, we don't, because when they leave us, they take a focus we've built since they were born. Though we're busy professionals; though we have deadlines and projects and classes and duties, there's nothing quite like having your child right there at home, safe and fed and cared-for.
To all the graduates, mazel tov! To all the parents...bring kleenex.
I loved this post. Though I cannot relate to it, I understand what you mean (I've heard similar thoughts from you in the past).
ReplyDeleteAnd the picture is priceless. It's amazing how many of those kids I 'know.' In fact, I'll be attending the wedding of one of those blue-clad boys next week!!!! :-)
Yes, dear light, I truly know how you feel and, in fact, when we attended the graduation tonight and sat together, you and I looked at each other at the same moment with bright eyes misting over at the bittersweetness of it all, sharing the same thought "Too fast, too soon, too far ..." I was just at the college graduation of our oldest son in NY and it was deja vu time, remembering him standing as your own dearest stood not too long ago at the same podium, for him 6 years ago giving HIS valedictory speech, with our youngest son also standing there giving HIS valedictory speech only last year -- they fly and we sigh ... and we must let them go with hugs and kisses, wrapped in our blessings that they stay strong and healthy in their faith, their chosen professions, and their relationships, with the values they have learned from us, in lessons taught and examples lived. May they all make positive changes in this world, and may they all choose to do good always.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful post. I'm still in the very beginnings of this part of life, but I can already understand all of "This is why we raise them!" said the mom of the classmate who already has a baby to me the other day. "We want them to go out into the world and make their mark!" Well, yes, in theory. But inwardly, we don't, because when they leave us, they take a focus we've built since they were born. Though we're busy professionals; though we have deadlines and projects and classes and duties, there's nothing quite like having your child right there at home, safe and fed and cared-for.
ReplyDeleteAmen...
It's funny - I have been having some of the same feelings anticipating my eldest son's first school performance (today!) - in which he is the letter Yud and has exactly 3 lines - though it hardly qualifies as a rite of passage. And though he is only 40-something-inches tall, compared to the way he was just yesterday, it's as bizarre to me as your 6-footer. When did I become a mom, anyway? You seem to have adjusted to THAT part, at least.... :-)
ReplyDeleteWho are those cute girls pretending to be "Charlie's Angels" [upper left portion]? Hilarious! Do they even have any recollection of that show??
ReplyDeleteSecondly, and I hope this is an encouragement to you and not salt in a wound: you are that much closer to becoming a grandmother.
My oldest child just turned 6 and I am trying to heed your words.
Thank you for indulging my sentimentality...but if it can nudge you to take lots of video now, LOTS OF VIDEO!!!--it will be worth it. I replace the photo with one from last night...(guess why).
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